From Dweeb to Adonis

We all know beauty when we see it. We are biologically programmed to recognize and be attracted to it, but we often can’t immediately understand why someone who has "drop dead" good looks is good-looking. Our affinity is ingrained into our subconscious and it takes some visual training for us to comprehend what makes someone beautiful.

Learning to appreciate beauty in our physical appearance is like taking a class in art history or composition to understand how the artist expresses his idea of beauty. With our bodies the artist is primarily Nature, although we have some power to enhance or build upon Nature’s efforts.

Everyone is affected by the desire to look good. Our self-esteem, social I.Q., and emotional I.Q. are highly dependent on our self-image. Looking good helps us climb the social ladder, lets us make more money and friends, and makes us desirable sex objects. When good-looking people commit transgressions, or break the law, others more readily forgive them and juries tend to be more lenient. Handsome men tend to have more sex partners than plain looking men. This may all be unfair and discriminatory, but nature gave us an innate appreciation for beauty in others and ourselves. Nature is indifferent about what is fair; it just gives beauty the advantage. We judge and are judged by the way we look. First impressions are established by our appearance, and they are extremely important. And if we look good, we feel good about ourselves.

It is so important for us to look good that we count calories, diet, buy make-up, hairstyles, and fashions, use steroids, take numerous supplements, vomit to stay thin, and endure liposuction, implants, facelifts, radial keratotomy, hair transplants (or removal), etc. While much of this is both unhealthy and ridiculous, there are many simple basic tips on looking good that can enrich a person’s life. When Oprah Winfrey does her make over shows, it’s incredible seeing the poise and self-confidence gained by frumpy looking women, once they know how to look good. Culturally, women have learned how to enhance their beauty -- from whom men could take a lesson.

Many people may argue that our culture is too obsessed with beauty. They say that we should be more concerned about compassion, caring, honesty, and integrity. While these qualities are all-important attributes, there is no reason why inner and outer beauty can’t both be developed. Caring and compassion includes helping people look more beautiful. Outer beauty is part of the game of life and it is wrong to pretend that it doesn’t matter.

Because beauty is so important to us, we overuse the word "beauty" to describe attributes about people that have nothing to do with their appearance. If a person is kind, generous, and magnanimous, he is more likely to be called "beautiful" than kind, generous, or magnanimous. Why? Because the word "beautiful" is so much more gratifying and heartfelt to a person. We tell ugly people that they are "beautiful" on the inside. We tell the disabled that they are "beautiful," even when there is nothing at all beautiful about being disabled. When a man woos a woman he is not going to tell her she is honest, loyal, helpful, or that she has a great personality. He is going to tell her she is BEAUTIFUL!

Beauty is relative concept. Something (or someone) is beautiful only in comparison to something (or someone) that is not. There would be no such thing as beauty if everyone looked the same. Our eyes and brains are very perceptive of minor variations in facial or bodily shapes. A tiny fraction of an inch difference in facial bone structure can profoundly affect a person’s beauty. A blemish or a bad hair day not only affects our looks, but also affects our mood.