Love is a state of being. Love is a spiritual force that is at the core
of our existence. It is a life giving
energy which once aroused inspires and drives us towards acts that nourish and
enhance the living experience - not only for ourselves but for those who are
connected to us in one way or another.
It is not something that we turn on and off, in the way that we claim to
fall in and out of love. It may lie dormant in situations where we cease to be
aware of the true essence of our being, but it does not die. At times our ego and personality may cloud
our awareness of our true Self and our loving nature but that nature will not
die. It is always there waiting to
arise. Even when we may be in a state
where we are miserable and unhappy with life, it lies in waiting. It waits until that time when (for whatever
reason) something inside compels us to seek a connection with our spiritual
core and the love that dwells at the center of our being.
This life giving
energy can also arise when we are prompted and inspired by another who is in
touch with that vital part of their nature and whose love-energy acts as a beacon to us.
We are not only drawn toward a person like that, we are also uplifted by
their energy. We are in effect ‘touched’
by their energy as it recharges our own, making us aware that we have the
potential to be as alive as they are.
When we are living with the awareness that we exist in a love state we actually have a sense of
being loved even though there may be no one in particular proclaiming their
love for us. We are experiencing Self Love.
If you take a
moment you may be able to think of someone among your acquaintances who always
seems so alive, happy and buzzing, and who also happens to be single. Cynically, you may say that they are happy
precisely because they are single! But the fact of the matter is that such
people are in touch with their love energy.
They love themselves first and foremost.
They are glowing from the love that is at the core of their being. Recognizing that love is a state of being allows us to feel the glow of love from
within. True love must first arise from
within!
At the center of
our beliefs is an identification with the ‘person’ we call I or Me. In my case I identified with this man who I
saw as possessing the qualities that would make a good partner for most black
women. Accompanying our identification
with our ‘Person’ is an ego which serves to feed and nurture the identity in
order to protect it against anything which threatens its existence. Therefore, in the face of contradictions
which suggest that maybe we are not the person we think we are, the ego kicks
in to reaffirm that identity and to help us rationalize actions that are not in
keeping with the character of that ‘Person’.
How else could many of us who have done so, lie, cheat and deceive our
woman whilst still believing we are the best man for her? A man that cheats lies and deceives is the
best for her? Wow, what has she done to
deserve that?
Our attitudes
and beliefs about what constitutes a man also contribute to this reluctance to
face up to the fact that we are living a lie when it comes to the person we
believe we are. How often have you
excused certain behavior on the grounds that ‘it's the way men are made’?
How often have you done things, which you categorized as ‘a man thing’? Have you not used these old clichés to
justify behavior which you knew (deep down inside) was wrong? Think about it! Are you happy to identify
yourself with a species that is ‘made’
in a way to hurt and destroy those whom it claims to love? Are you happy to identify yourself with a
species whose ‘thing’ is done without
regard to the effect on those to whom it is supposed to have a responsibility?