Whatever It Takes

Throughout the book, an attempt has been made to demonstrate that somewhere in my past, I learned to be masculine or "macho." I lost the right, or the confidence, to be a leader, and at the same time to be kind, gentle, and tender-hearted. This is where I think many men have really lost out. This is where men have lost the respect of their women and children.

Because we don’t understand that it's okay for men to have a strong masculine side, balanced by a softness of his heart, we have a tendency to lead with an iron hand and a strong voice. We tell our children, "Do as I say, not as I do." We fear being questioned or challenged when we are asked to explain our actions. When women stand up for their own rights, men fear the unknown instead of trying to figure it out.

Before, I thought that women wanted to rule the world. I changed that opinion. Women are compelled to take over, not fighting to take over. It's still a fatherless society; husbands have forgotten how to be husbands. Women are crying out for strong men, and we have just not been there. Instead, we have been trying so hard to be what we thought a man should be, we've missed the whole point! We have lost out on respect and pride. We have lost the really important things in life, all because we thought that being a man was only about providing. We thought that would make us happy.

Throughout our society, we find men who appear to be strong, leaders in their fields, but many of these seemingly strong men are spineless, lacking moral, physical, and mental strength in their family lives. Some men fail to take their position as head of the household; they allow their wives and children to push them around. They don’t wish to accept the responsibility that is rightfully theirs. Some men even encourage their wives to assume the burden of being the head of the household. Comedy skits poke fun at the idea of the wife "wearing the pants" in the family. The husband is portrayed as a blundering bumpkin, buffeted around by circumstances, offering no strong direction or leadership.

Men have become so preoccupied with providing for everyone else’s wants, having everyone’s desires met, that they have failed to assume the financial responsibility of actually putting bread on the table. Women must come to the rescue, and we now have a generation of working mothers. Women must leave their households daily to assist men in making a living. The home is neglected as the wife shares this masculine responsibility, caused either by the man’s failure to provide adequately, or through his lack of firmness in managing his money.

Lack of chivalry is apparent everywhere. Women, of necessity, are often forced to take care of themselves. They change their own tires, mow their lawns, repair their furnaces, and lift heavy objects. Where are the men offering their masculinity to the gentler sex?

In addition to failing at home, men are failing to measure up in society. We are in a period of crisis, and it is likely that the great inheritance we enjoy from the labor and sacrifice of generations past may be lost. Freedom is in jeopardy; it is a time of turmoil and strife. Our only hope is for men to rise to their feet as real men. Where are the heroes of today? Where are the men willing to sacrifice time and energy to rescue a dwindling society?

A general lack of manliness is producing far-reaching social problems. The man who fails to stand up as the head of the family creates trouble in his home. There is a lack of order. The weak-kneed father creates the dominant mother, as urgent demands make it necessary for her to step into the leadership role. When dad fails to portray a strong male image in the home, there is a blurring of the role between mother and father. Both boys and girls fail to find a defined sex image with which to identify; girls fail to grow feminine and boys fail to grow into men.

Such default in leadership causes great unhappiness and frustration in some women. For when a woman must be the man of the family, she is not free to function as a woman, to devote her time and thought to making a success of her equally demanding duties as a wife and mother. Her lack of confidence in her man creates all kinds of difficulties, and she becomes insecure, sometimes desperate.

The children of a father that does not lead also suffer as innocent victims. They become insecure due to a lack of firmness and decisiveness. Children who grow up in a home where the father does not command obedience for his word learn disobedience towards everyone. They learn that they do not have to yield to authority. When turned out into the world, they are likely to be rebellious. They are the troublemakers on campus, the lawbreakers and delinquents in society.

The man who forces his wife to work outside the home creates further social problems; she must divide her interests between her work and family. Since work is usually more demanding, the children and home life suffer. While the neglect of home life results in lack of love, attention, and development of the children, she also fails as a wife.

Still another social ill attributable to the weakness of men is the women's liberation movement. Had men been truly strong and masculine, devoted to the care of women and children, holding women in high regard with an appreciation for their role in the home, giving it the respect and honor it deserves, it is unlikely that so many women would want to desert their positions.

As it is, many women feel like second class citizens, victims of a macho male population who have taken the exciting and fulfilling jobs for themselves. They want to be "liberated" from their traditional female duties. Had men helped women to feel the importance of their work, women would have been happy to serve in the home, considering it an opportunity for fulfillment. They would hold men, as well as themselves, in higher regard.

Finally, when a man is weak, or in some way fails to measure up as a man, women and children lose respect for him. This, in turn, weakens relationships, leading to divorce, and a chasm between parent and child.

There is an urgent need for immediate action. Men must understand how they can best contribute to the well being of their families and society. If we do not produce a generation of real men soon, our entire civilization may be lost. Our most sacred and cherished institutions – marriage, family, freedom of country – the very foundation of organized society, are in peril.

These crucial times require men of strong minds, kind hearts, clear minds, high goals, and willing hands; men who find joy in labor; men of courage, honor, and strong opinions. We need men who are not afraid of great responsibility; men who can become dedicated to a task, and will surrender their own selfish desires and pursuits to a life of service; men whose word is as good as their bond.