Faint Not! Help for the Caregiver

Despite the devotion of the caregiver, caring for her relative was draining her strength. She did not give care giving much thought when she first decided to provide care for her relative. She figured at most, it would last only 6 weeks and surely at the very least, she would be able to care for her relative after all the things that this person had done for her.

Six months after her relative was diagnosed, the caregiver was tired and was unsure whether or not she would be able to continue caring for her relative since she was the primary caregiver and her relative was now requiring 24-hour care.

It was also increasingly difficult for the caregiver to relate to her peers that worked with her, because they had not yet experienced anything remotely similar to what she had experienced as a caregiver. She was growing weary. But despite her difficulty, she was able to continue caring for her relative until the end.

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I remember the dying process of my uncle. He was diagnosed with Cancer also and was informed by his physicians that he had about 6 months to live. God indeed gave him 6 months to live.

His caregiver informed me that a couple of months prior to my uncle’s death, my uncle was sometimes mean, bitter and saying things to her that he should not have said to her. She too grew weary in care giving.

In the final three days of his life, at my uncle’s request, he wanted to die at home. It was also his request that no extreme measures were to be taken. The final three days of the life of my uncle, from my point of view, were extremely painful. I watched Cancer wither and shrivel away years richly full of laughter and merriment. While helping to provide care, I witnessed the disfigurement that pain and anguish produced...the giving and taking process of dying that is evident in the shadows and light that is embodied in the flesh. I viewed this particular way of dying as one of the most horrible deaths that I have ever witnessed and was not prepared for this kind of care giving.

The last three days of life were also painfully slow. Three days seemed like an eternity. His caregiver was weary and questioned whether or not she would be able to go on, but continued to provide total care for my uncle with minimal assistance from family members. What seemed to weigh her down more was that he was mentally oriented and aware of everything. My uncle knew he was dying and despite pain medication, he seemed to have experienced every painful minute, which was evident by the wincing of his eyes every time his body was touched. Despite her weariness, his caregiver still remained and was also able to withstand until the end.

Both events involved caregivers that were willing to do the right thing for the person that they loved. Both caregivers grew increasingly weary and burdened with the passage of time. But how were they able to continue until the end? Where did they get the strength to continue when others have thrown in the towel and given up?

If you are a caregiver and find yourself asking these questions and you too are weary in your situation ...

FAINT NOT........ Help is on the way!