Remnants from the Fire

The book you have in your hands is an autobiographical fantasy, and an experiential illustration of a process that can be used as a tool to discover and explore one's own "kingdom within."

My young adult life was similar in many ways to the lives of women who grew up in the 50's everywhere; believing in the promise of love, waiting for the handsome prince who would come and whisk me away to live happily ever after as we played "house" behind the white picket fence. What it became was a balancing act between adversity and joy of varying degrees mixed with the expectations my world projected onto me as a woman.

The story is one of love and loss, coupled with shame and guilt, as well as a story of recovery and hope as I learned how to escape from the painful prison of my own beliefs.

The year was 1978 and I was in trouble. Struggling under the facade of a "happy marriage," but up to my neck in emotional pain and rage. It was during that painful period in my life that my brother suggested that I write a fairy tale. He said to just start with "Once upon a time" and let the story unfold. The act of writing those four words, and the experiences of writing the story that followed became a turning point in my life, and a powerful illustration of what lie dormant within me waiting to be tapped. It opened my door to the "kingdom within."

I was taking an introductory correspondence course on the symbolism of the Tarot cards, (based on the Rider-Waite deck) at about the same time as I began to write the fairy tale. Incorporating the characters of the cards was a natural direction for me to go.

Once I would start writing and interacting with an Archetype in imagery, the story would take on a life of its' own, becoming an otherworldly experience, a waking dream. By journaling as I explored, I was able to bring the experience of the journey back to the outer world. I discovered a rich and fascinating kingdom within my own psyche where deep and profound healing and growth could take place.

If there is importance in this work, its usefulness lies in the process it illustrates, as well as lessons learned. I had stumbled onto a practical way to synthesize everything I was learning, thus enabling me to create a powerful tool of self-discovery which became the vehicle for my own healing.

I began to play with the idea of "myth" which brought me to the realization that the "fairy tale" of "happily ever after" and the search and struggle for that outcome is the stereotypical myth. Myth as Archtype is the journey of the soul through predictable stages. I realized that I started out writing a fairy tale looking for the happily ever after theme, and ended up writing a mythical journey. I started with the expectation of the stereotype and arrived at the feet of the archetype.

This process helped me to become an observer to my own life. I was able to release attachments that formerly had kept me a prisoner, and see my life as one story among many, with a pattern of recognizable stages. Once that happened, the issues lost their grip on me.

I have come to the conclusion that certain concepts in the collective unconscious are working their way through and into our consciousness. A new paradigm or way of thinking is laboring to be birthed into the world. I see it in the personal stories of contemporary writers exploring the terrains of their own psyches, and in the revelations of some spiritual teachers.

I think the timing of finishing this book is relevant to the times we live in. For many who have tuned in to the development of the new paradigm, and struggled to express personal impulses coming from it's descent into this plane, I think you will identify with my experiences. For those who haven't tuned in yet, I hope my excursions may help you to sort out your own remnants from the fire, and begin to see the new ships on the horizon.

The setting for the tale is modern, "not far from now" as the opening sentence describes, and one of many excursions outside the "box" of expectation. A fairy tale can happen now just as much as it could happen in the 17th century, only now the castle has some modern conveniences, and the characters use cars and airplanes, not carriages and horses.

Robert Bly in "The Maiden King" which he wrote with Marion Woodman says that we are being asked to move from the psychological to the mythological stage or way of thinking. That statement encourages me that possibly by responding to my brother's suggestion, I unwittingly tapped into a deep impulse within the collective that was waiting to be given a voice.