Saturday Night Live: Equal Opportunity Offender
The Uncensored Censor
by
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I’m the guy a lot of people thought didn’t exist. I was the one who decided how much painted-on pubic hair could be shown on a nude statue on national television. It was my responsibility to define how large a bull’s balls could be and still get on the air. And I saved the world from watching comedian Sam Kinison imitate a homosexual necrophiliac. I’m the man they called "Doctor No," the network censor on Saturday Night Live, at that time the most provocative and controversial program on television. Many times I’d meet someone at a cocktail party who’d react when I told them my vocation. "You mean there is one on that show?!!" All I could reply was, "You should see what didn’t get on the air!" That’s what a lot of this book is about ... what a censor is supposed to do ... what he actually accomplishes ... and how he makes decisions, all in the context of my long career in the broadcasting business, from NBC Page in 1948 to Director of Broadcast Standards for NBC in 1979 until 1991 when I left to become a consultant, the modern network euphemism for "retiree." The word "censor" is in itself a euphemism as we referred to ourselves as "editors." Censorship, by definition, is the "restriction of any expression believed to threaten the political, social or moral order." Well, we weren’t involved with military secrets, merely television entertainment. Married, with Children, Saturday Night Live, not even Jerry Springer are threats to the political order although there are some religious and conservative Special Interest Groups that consider them a threat to the moral! Then, too, "censor" conjures up a picture of a pinch-faced prude with a green eye shade and a blue pencil operating with a rack of cast-iron values upon which each work must fit, making no effort to judge a work by its intention or possible effect. He just strips it of bumps and lumps and makes it conform to a mold. That attitude was personified by the anal-retentive little censor played by Tim Kazurinsky on Weekend Update. His name, Worthington Clotman, was a deliberate variation of mine although I failed to see any resemblance to a character who was so shifty and constricted that he reminded one of the old canard that censors are "paid to have dirty minds." If that’s the case, then Saturday Night Live made my job very easy.
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About the Book
The book is an attempt to put a human face on one of the most maligned creatures in broadcasting – the Censor! Each network has them; unseen, unrecognized, unsung. Well, they’re not really a bunch of pinch-faced prudes in green eye shades wielding blue pencils. They’re hard working, dedicated professionals trying to make television acceptable to a large and culturally diverse audience and, not incidentally, to keep the FCC and the U.S. Congress off the backs of their employers. And it is not easy, for he (or she) catches it from all sides – the creative community that wants to push the envelope – management that wants ratings and increased profits – special interest groups interested in their image – educators who want a classroom and preachers who expect a catechism. Did I say the censor was also a juggler, balancing those interests without compromising the creativity or diluting the entertainment value? There has never been a book written form the viewpoint of a censor. Until now. The book is semi-autobiographical, based on my forty years in the business (twelve with Saturday Night Live!). Eddie Murphy, Billy Crystal, Gilda Radner, Ronald Reagan, Groucho Marx, Bing Crosby: I knew them all. The book tells about them and about censoring, with hopes that the reader will be entertained, but also acknowledge a deeper appreciation of the standards we were attempting to uphold. Sometimes successfully!
About the Author
William Clotworthy recently completed a forty-two year advertising and broadcasting career encompassing the death throes of network radio, the Golden Years of television and today’s fragmented market of networks, cable and home video. As an NBC Page, he witnessed programs featuring the legendary Arturo Toscanini conducting the NBC Symphony, the Fred Allen Show and The Voice of Firestone. He was there for the television debuts of Howdy Doody, Sid Caesar, Milton Berle and Perry Como. He moved on to an advertising career in New York and Hollywood as a commercial producer and program supervisor on many family shows, including Your Hit Parade, You Bet Your Life with Groucho Marx, and others starring Bing Crosby, Jack Webb, Johnny Carson and Danny Kaye. He spent six unforgettable seasons with General Electric Theatre and its host, Ronald Reagan. From 1979 through 1990, he was Director of Program Standards ("Censor") for NBC-TV, responsible for Saturday Night Live and Late Night with David Letterman. Mr. Clotworthy’s long association with major personalities and successful, sometimes controversial, programs provides an interesting and unusual perspective on the television industry. Mr. Clotworthy, a native of New Jersey, is a graduate of Syracuse University. He currently lives in Asheville, North Carolina.