Living Your Life According to Connecting the Dots by Number

'In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth and the earth was without form (such as I), and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.' I had no vision to find my way. 'And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.' My tears stepped aside. 'And God said, 'let there be light': and there was light.' The clouds of darkness became parted in my mind. I'd wept to my God and now He was here. From the midst of my suffering... and now He was here! 'And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.' My heart rose up to receive the embrace of His love. I was lifted up to higher ground, a higher place. Where death can no longer sting. I'd been grafted in to understand, direction to follow, I'd received my sight. Out from the chamber of death did I fly away with the Lord, to be captive no more. Love lifted me. If we have a healthy complete picture of what love is, then we're not going to go where love is not. If we just have one or a few pieces of love, or even as clueless as I was as to what it is, then we're going to get into trouble. Whether things are going great or not so good you'll grow and understand why as you join me on my dot-connecting journey and slowly enter a healthy relationship reality.

As I find my way through space and time I encounter dots, which I've discovered to be beads of truth. The more dots I find, the more I can stop guessing who I am, without any help or lack of understanding. I watch how people respond to my behavior. I've become the joke of conversation which I overhear in bits and pieces and the sad part about it is, I laugh along with them, not realizing my friends are abusive enemies. How blind we can be when we run from our pain unaware that it's there. I tried to enter into friendships without understanding what love is and got pain in its place, thinking it was love.

Then I discovered a dot one day when someone treated me especially well worthwhile. The fact that someone loved me helped me to find Dot #1: VALIDATED. In the midst of all the commotion and unrest, warped perceptions and walk through empty spaces watching life pass me by, I could now hug myself and know I was loved by GOD yet I was still unable to see my great value. There just wasn't enough of me together, but I tasted, God is good, my relationship with Him had begun as did my journey to love.

All of a sudden, I started, very gradually, to see things differently. I could be contained in a space from which I could start to grow, and although very limited, I could start to focus in the midst of all the turmoil that would sweep over me in distorted perceptions. Yes I discovered Dot #2: I HAVE MY OWN SPACE and began to become aware what wasn't love in it.

Now all those punks who trashed me would have to step aside, cause I wasn't running away from the abuse to come back and get more. I walked away and found other friends who accepted me for who I was, only what I didn't know was it was a bad crowd and history was soon to repeat itself. Although my space was growing I lacked the wisdom to manage new friendships, my friends were now con artists who used me for what they could get out of me. I'd be sweet-talked into trusting them and then they would steal things from me: my sister's bicycle, a tape recorder, cash, jewelry, etc. Whenever my back was turned something would be gone.