Voices in the Darkness

Losing Control After the attack Alice is in a twilight type zone back to worse than when she was in childhood. Not feeling happy, sad, emotional, nor hunger. ‘Why can I not turn into a mermaid and swim away and escape the viscous, cruel world‘, the demons that abused her in the past make her feel helpless, vulnerable and lost. All alone she struggles to summon up the courage to continue. All the other demons crushed her soul, took away her happiness but the big man did not only that but also tried to kill her by attempting to force her to kill herself though she had done him no wrong. ‘Why does he hate me so much? Is it because I am different? is it because I am so small? why does my life mean nothing? For Alice though a life does matter, she would never harm or try to end a life like he tried to end hers. The voices in the darkness scream and roar in her conscious mind. That is the difference between a good person and a pure evil one and he was, is … pure evil, justice should be served! But it is not. Voices in the darkness continue to attack her relentlessly, all day, all night. No relief, no rest, no compassion, no mercy given just like him, a memory in the darkness but so real though she is told it is not. Her despair turns to anger and Alice is not the angry type it takes a lot to flip her switch. She has never once looked for an argument and she is not aggressive but when she did lose her temper she fucking lost it! She is now getting angry at the voices as she does not deserve the torment she gets from them, angry at the assault, the lies, being condemned to death for simply existing, angry at all the abuse she has suffered though she did not ask for any of it, angry that people can be so cruel, they will crush you without a second thought, not caring whether you live or die, angry that permanent damage has been inflicted to her inner ear and extremely severe damage to her subconscious mind … ‘Why does my life not matter?’ Is the question, ‘Is it because I am not popular? Is it because I am not normal? Is it because I am to sensitive? Is it because I care? Is it because I won’t kill a spider? Well, in my opinion they are living creatures also. They might not look nice, but they are living breathing beings. Do they have feelings? I do not know, but who has the right to take life from another living being? NO ONE. And yet the big man did everything in his power to end her life! He attacked, tortured her and condemned her to death without justification with his accomplices laughing, chanting, egging him on to finish her off. Accused of things she was not guilty of, just because a person gets it into their head that a person is so does not mean it is actually so. Alice fought all her life to fit in but never fitted in anywhere. She does not know where she belongs so the only choice left is to belong to herself. ‘No-one will control me like this, no-one is master over me! not like this! I choose to be free to make my own choices, to build my own future and I will do it alone if I have to. I am not afraid to be alone, I have been alone all my life, I will simply stop wishing for my fairy tale prince/knight in shining armour to come and rescue me for he simply does not exist, he is not there! I must rescue myself!’ She is giving up hope for a happy ending, for that does not always happen! For some I suppose it does, but for Alice? Happiness for Alice, it is like winning the lotto. ‘I am so tired I feel like giving up but I also feel like fighting, I give up on things changing for the better, I give up on fairy tales, I am on my own as always, I will choose to fight, I must fight for my life.’ She falls into bed and closes her eyes and returns to the realm. The air feels strangled something is wrong, a predator is waiting in the shadows. Panther is by her side and the two of them walking side by side. The tiger stalks out of the forest and walks confidently towards her thinking she would be his prey. Oh no, no that will not do, she thinks to herself. Tiger attacks and panther defends but then it all changed, in the blink of an eye immense energy filled the panther and she subdued the tiger. She attacks with such ferocity he ran away but he did not go far then he tried again running back at them leaping in for panthers throat. Panther was faster though and she clamped onto his throat first a loud roar ensued as he struggled to break free. Panther let go as she was not the type to inflict any kind of harm she would only defend and protect. Tiger wanted to overpower her and she was in no mind for that. The two of them circled each other both ready for attack teeth barred, snarling at one another both of them circling at the ready never breaking eye contact. The other animals curious as to what was going on all gathered around them watching as the scene unfolded. They gathered in a wide circle around them watching, waiting. ‘I have had enough of,’ said and the music started. No-one else could hear the music only Alice for it was in her mind. She began to float as the pitch got higher and higher and she radiated white light. All the animals backed away all but the tiger who was still ready to strike. Anger is now filling Alice as the pitch continues to get higher and higher. The light is getting stronger and stronger, brighter and brighter radiating further and further away from her the brighter it got. The grass beneath her begins to burn brown and panther says, ‘Alice, Alice you need to control this.’ Alice tries to control it but she has lost her temper, lost control. The pitch continues to rise higher and higher and the light gets brighter and brighter, stronger and stronger. The animals are running away, all except tiger who is caught in the light and is now dying as the light is draining his energy from him. Something needed to be done because as the light spread out innocents would be caught in it and neither Alice nor Panther wanted this, they did not wish harm on anyone. They looked at each other and nodded. Alice’s anger was out of control, however she was still able to feel compassion and empathy and consideration for those around her. There was only one choice to make and she made it willingly to save innocent souls. She closes her eyes and so does panther and together they visualized a glass dome surrounding them, this glass dome kept the light energy radiating from Alice inside of it. The pitch continues to rise higher and higher and the light gets brighter and brighter. Alice is now unable to control it and it continues to get stronger and stronger. The glass starts to shake and the ground beneath them has turned to sand. The shaking gets more violent as the light and pitch intensify nothing from outside the dome can be seen only bright white light and the sand turns to glass within the dome. The glass is shaking so violently now it is beginning to crack, tiny hairline cracks have formed but the light and pitch continue to intensify and Alice is floating high above the ground as high as the top of the dome will allow her. The light grows brighter and brighter and brighter till it reaches a supernova type state. With the pitch so high it is beyond human hearing everything shakes so violently that suddenly, Boom! The sphere explodes but as it explodes the glass turns to sand and then to dust so as not to harm anyone, it turns so fast that anyone nearby is not harmed. Everyone is safe even the tiger. Alice opens her eyes and she sees panther lying lifeless on the ground and before she could do anything she was back in her room.