Niarune took a deep breath as the heaviness of the conversation set in. For the first time she was truly conflicted on what she wanted to do next.
“When I was younger, all I wanted was for someone to just tell me the truth, to stop hiding stuff from me. Somehow now that I’m finally chasing that same truth it seems even further away than ever before. The more that I learn, the less I understand.”
“I know how you feel”
“But do you really? I NEED to know the truth, it’s all I’ve got”
Niraune turned her back to Phuridan and rested her head against the wall.
“I was brought up in this culture without ever wanting it. I was forced to fight and compete, repeatedly, my entire life. I wasn’t allowed have friends, whenever I did make friends, it was as if it was forbidden. I was discouraged from being an ordinary child, it was frowned upon, so much so that my parents even punished me for trying to have a normal life. Can you even imagine that? I was not allowed to be happy, god it sounds so absurd when I say it out loud but that is what it was like.
“And do you know what the saddest part of it all is? I didn’t realise what ‘normal’ even looks like until years later, until I could meet other people. Other villages, they had proper lives, so why was mine different? Why did the people of Mount Ashta act so cruel in their strictness? I was trained and expected to someday fight enemies that would come my way, but the only person I’ve truly been fighting is myself.
“My life is no different than the paper on your walls, it’s repetitive and overwhelming. I constantly feel like the only person in the world, everyone else is just a mindless drone that demands I partake in this unending cycle.”
Phuridan rubbed her shoulder as her repressed emotions exploded out. The powerful fighter he had met was gone and in her place was this traumatised young girl.
“The only thing I’ve been able to cling on to all this time is my curiosity, my demand for the truth about EVERYTHING. My parents could never take that from me. They could lie and misdirect me all they want but they could never kill this last piece of me. So you see, I can’t give up, I can’t stop, I can’t back down. You’re asking me to let go, but that’s all I have left. If I abandon my thirst for knowledge, this last sliver of myself, then I might as well be dead!”
“Niarune, I don’t want you to abandon your quest at all, I just want you to be safe. I want you to find what you’re looking for and inspire others, but not at the cost of rational thought. Violence breeds violence and hatred breeds hatred. I don’t want you to lose yourself by lashing out at the world. You deserve to discover yourself and find peace in the world. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’d like for you to be able to have the type of life my daughter missed out on.” Phuridan said with empathy and remorse in his voice.
“Reiko and I, aren’t so different after all are we?”
“Different upbringing maybe, but you share the same heart, and I hope her story will resonate with you”