The Rule of Three

He shrugged, smiled, then, to my surprise, reached out and gently took my hand. "“It’s okay, miss. I got you. We’re good."” And then, "“I’m Jack. Jack Russell." Don’t tell anybody, but at that very moment something went 'splash', and I actually sighed. "Jack Russell? Like the dog?"” Because I have a very poor filter. He smiled and offered a sincere chuckle. "“Yes. Exactly. My mom loves them. Has two."” I nodded slightly because I suck at small talk. Then I remembered my manners amid more awkward silence and offered nervously, "“Duncan."” "“Beg pardon?"” I cleared my throat, then offered again, “"My name. It'’s Duncan."” "“Like the donuts?"” "“No. It’s an Anglicized form of the Irish and Scottish Gaelic Donnchadh. One of the first people to bear the name was actually king of Dál Riata Dúnchad Mac Dubáin—..."” Suddenly, I observed a look on his face, a look I have observed on the face of many others with whom I have engaged in small talk... And then it occurred to me: he was making a joke, because my name is the same as the donut place, Duncan Donuts, and he probably did not want to know the full etymology of the name Duncan, and anyway, I was probably just prattling along and should have stopped talking several thoughts back, but when I am nervous, I prattle and use contractions, which, in my view, are just tools of lazy conversationalists, and then I realized also that nothing that I had just thought was actually voiced, and so the last thirty seconds or so probably involved me just staring at him dumbfounded... …Yeah… And finally, I said, "“I’m sorry. Sometimes I have difficulty reading situations. And people. And books by Jasper Fforde,Terry Pratchett and Christopher Moore."