A Shepherd's Love

The Generational Culture Trap You may be familiar with a television program called “Super Nanny.” It is centered around the experiences of a professional nanny who comes to live with families needing intervention. Yes, they were in crisis, but not the kind of crisis you might expect. Somehow the children in the family have become so out of control that the parents were crying for help. So much so that they enlist the help of Super Nanny. I’m telling you, she must have a cape on underneath her long dresses because some of those kids are a hot mess! The nanny, upon observation and through discussion with the parents, assists them in setting goals. Often the goals are to develop a sense of respect, structure and discipline that hopefully will be carried on long after her departure. I have asked my husband, “What do you think she would say about our home?” I really would love her to come and assess our home. Not because we have disrespectful children. On the contrary, the Lord has truly blessed my husband and I with two wonderful young men. Here’s why I asked. Being a busy salon owner for over twenty-eight years, my hours fluctuate weekly. It didn’t help having a husband who worked rotating shifts. I thank God that we were blessed to have two mothers who took turns watching our boys. Everybody’s schedule revolved around ours so that meant there appeared to be no set structure. The culture in our home was a lot of hustle and bustle, fueled by rushed hectic mornings of trying our best to be on time for school. We struggled with punctuality because of the many late-night hours at the salon. It was not uncommon for me to call my mother and say, “Don’t worry about waking the boys. We will spend the night. My wonderful mother would have them fed and in the bed, so all I would have to do is crawl in next to them. My wonderful mother-in-law, on the other hand, would have them sparkling clean because her love language was bath time. Both mothers had them in the bed, but one fed them and the other bathed them. Both showed love and support, yet they created distinct personal cultures. I’ve often wondered what Super Nanny would say about my husband and I working so much and shuffling our sons from home to home. Would it be something like, “You are well-meaning parents, but have created too little structure for your children”? Or would she ask, “Is this is a learned behavior and if so, where did it come from?