First generation of British Born Indians. Parents and Grandparents came to England in the late 60’s.
Having been born in English, the author grew up going to English Schools and watching British TV.
She was the eldest sibling with three younger brothers who were all born within 5 years of each other. There were also Cousins who were all like brothers and sisters too. All growing up, having fun and hanging out together. It was restricted but a happy and innocent time!
However, from a very young age the Author knew what was expected of her regarding cultural norms and values. What was planned for her future, and how it would come about.
But she had a wild side, and a strong sense of independence. She would fight back and argue.
Eventually as her rebellious side really kicked in when she was in her late teens, the family gathered and conspired and decided it was time for her to be married to save face and shame from the community.
She managed to escape the cultural traps and built a life for herself. Having put herself through high education and University, and then working her way into to a successful corporate career within IT Projects. Over the years romantic relationships has started and ended, causing emotional layers of hurt and betray to be laid.
However, it wasn’t all bad. Being the rebel that she was, she partied hard and laughed a lot since the Escape. Music was her one relief. She danced her way through her life. She’d made life long friends who supported and comforted her during the hard times and played as much as she did. She had built a good life.
But there was always something missing!
It took nearly 20 years and most of her adult life to realize the deeply embedded subconscious trauma was a result of what had happened to her. All her decisions and relationships stemmed from those moments of betrayal and grief inflicted on her from the people close to her.
Having experienced the most brutal of another betrayal, which opened and bought to the surface everything that she had buried, she realized that she had been running away from herself most of her life. She was disconnected from her own soul.
But now after and intense and painful period of self-discovery she is finally at peace with herself.