Learned to Love the Pain
by
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I got to the minister’s house of my uncle, and he and his wife were outside in the garage because they were having a yard sale. I spoke to them both, and his wife and granddaughter walked inside the house for a moment. I handed him the announcement, and he looked at it and congratulated me in advance. Then he looked back at me and gave me that look. You know the one where you can tell when someone is undressing you with their eyes? Yelp, that’s the one! Well, I didn’t have to assume that was what he was doing because as soon as his eyes connected back to mine, he said, “You know, those twin cousins of yours have nothing on you. They are too small. But you. All it would take would be for you to tell me ‘yes’ one time and I’d have you lying on your back eating that thing out really good,” and he licked his lips. I was shocked. I didn’t know what to say. Nor did I know what to do. I just stood there for a second and gathered myself and then told him I had to go. I was so distraught I couldn’t even finish handing out the invitations. I thought about that all the way home. Who could I mention this to without causing such an uproar? The only person I thought of was my uncle because it was his pastor. I called one of the twins first and asked if he was at home and then I told him what was said. He said he would handle it. I just knew that this would cause me a few looks and stares and even rumors, but I was tired of being so easy of a target for men to say or do things to me without there being a consequence. As word of what happened spread around the town, as with every other situation that took place in my life; some people believed me and thanked me for being brave enough to say something. Some even went so far as to say that there were similar things mentioned to them but because he was a pastor they didn’t know what to say or to whom. Then, of course, there were the naysayers. Those that didn’t want to hear anything negative because there was nothing wrong with their pastor or where they chose to worship, and anything that went wrong was a fault of the person accusing. How sick can some people be? Who wants to walk around and be treated this way all the time? Not I!
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About the Book
The goals and dreams you once had as a child shouldn’t dissipate because you’ve grown older or due to circumstances that have taken place in your life. But from me to you, you can’t allow what happened to you at the age of four, eight, twelve, or sixteen hinder you from all the greatness you have to offer within you. I have wanted many times to use what’s happened to me throughout my life as an excuse to be an awful person. I thought at one point that because I had been violated so many times that it would be nothing for me to give myself away for a small amount of money. I reasoned that because there were drugs available in my neighborhood, it would be easy to get to either indulge or sell them myself. I’ve feared becoming a wife and parent, thinking that I would neglect them like I had been or that I would treat them inappropriately because that was my normal. These thoughts seemed to haunt me forever and sometimes still they run cross my mind, and in a constant negative state of mind, those thoughts could have become my existence. But there is God and He surrounded me with people that loved me even though I didn’t see it at the time. He allowed them to intervene on my behalf and help me stay positive. My outward appearance was an attitude and a smile, but I was drowning and dying inside. But somehow, the pain pushed me to go harder, to want and to be better. I wanted to find my voice and help others do the same. Pain is inevitable, and through it all, somehow, I learned to love the pain.
About the Author
She is a young adult aspiring all she can be in life. With every obstacle and circumstance that comes her way, she deals with it and seeks for the best outcome possible. Not saying that she’s perfect, which she is not by any means at all, but Jaye Love is one to have a goal in mind and sets out to achieve it. At a very young age in life, she lived with the motto, “Life is a service for God and unto others, ”and has stood by that still today. She believes that she has the means to touch people’s lives no matter what walk of nature they are from because motivating and encouraging others is what she does best. She has served her country in the Armed Forces and carries the status of Retired Veteran. She is a first-generation high school and college graduate and steadily pursing more. She is a certified motivational speaker and has been keynote speaker for a host of events from an early age. Her first book, “I’ve Nothing Left to Fight,” has been the eye-opener she’s needed to see that not only was her idea of sharing her story to help others be encouraged was a great one, but that it has been beneficial to people of different ages around the world. In just a short time, Jaye Love has checked off many things only some could dream about, simply because they are ‘sayers’ and not ‘doers.” She is fearless in sharing her story to reach those who are afraid to share what happened to them. She wants to embrace the past and thrive on it to be all that she can be. Blessed beyond measure, she gives all credit to God for using her in this way.