We Promised: a Story of Abiding Love

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV) My name is Mary. In my observation, many marriages last a short time and succumb to the challenges of everyday life. I have watched my brother Colin and his wife Carrie cope with these demands over the years, recent events have tested the bonds of their marriage. On several visits to the farm where I grew up and where my Colin still farms, they shared their story, truly an inspiration that I now share with you. *** Carrie Carlson sank into her lift-chair recliner in the family room, raising the footrest with the hand controls. Decor on the walls of the room reflected a country theme. Furniture spoke warmth and comfort with two antique pieces from family placed along the far wall. Her two granddaughters spent the day with us. Her parents would arrive later to share a family dinner. She looked tired, and raising her feet would help with the swelling. I joined them with my teacup in hand, enjoying their enthusiasm. They are beautiful girls of ten and seven, full of energy, long blonde hair falling around their shoulders. Marcie and Megan adore their grandmother, and she them. Marcie plopped down on the end of the couch next to her chair. “Nana, tell me how you and Papa met,” Marcie said quizzically, propping her chin on her hand with elbows on the armrest. “I think I’ve told you this before, haven’t I?” Carrie smiled at her, knowing the answer to her question, reaching for and patting Marcie’s small hand. “Maybe part of it. But Megan hasn’t heard the story.” Megan sat on the floor nearby, munching on a fresh cookie from the oven. For a silent moment, I wondered if Carrie thought briefly about her life with her husband and family. If only things could be different. The years took turns she and Colin never imagined. Images of the two of them in their school days, filled with hopes for the future, danced in her thoughts. *** Fall, 1968 “Carrie, you are only in the seventh grade, and too young to go on a date.” Carrie’s mother was explicit, and she was not excited about letting Carrie meet up with a boy. Carrie was petite and blonde, her hair cut short and curled with a perm. Adele James watched her blue eyes and sweet, round face as she pleaded her case, her cheeks flushed with excitement. “Mom, I’m almost thirteen, and we are just going to the movie. We’ll be with lots of friends. Pleeeease? His brother is going to bring him into town. We’ll go straight to Sandy’s after a soda.” “Not quite thirteen yet, I might emphasize. Wait ‘til your dad gets home, and we’ll see what he says. I know Colin is a nice boy, and we know his parents.” Adele bustled about in the kitchen, preparing dinner. George was due home any minute. “Where’s Margaret?” “I don’t know. She got into a car with somebody after school, and I rode the bus home.” Adele wiped her hands on her apron and grasped Carrie’s shoulders. “We will talk about this with your dad after supper. Now go do your homework.” She released her daughter and used hot pads to check on the roast in the oven. Colin Carlson was finishing eighth grade and going into high school. Also blonde and blue-eyed, Colin had an air of confidence and was popular in his class. He lived five miles out of town on a farm, so he could not be in town very often to hang out with friends. His brother, Lyle, would drop him off in town for various activities to meet up with his friends. Lyle was a junior at the high school. The dinner table was quiet with little conversation. Carrie knew Margaret would be in trouble when she got home. She was late for supper. It would not be the best time to bring up her proposed meeting with Colin. She finished her meal and took plates to the sink to begin washing them, her heart heavy, and anger at Margaret rising in her throat. “Carrie, come sit down for a minute. George, Carrie wants to meet her friend Sandy and Colin Carlson in town at the movie theater on Friday night. They will be with a bunch of other friends, and plan to go to Olsen’s for a cola afterwards. She wants to spend the night with Sandy. What do you say?” Adele presented the information in simple terms. George looked up at Carrie and took a sip of his coffee. “I know the Carlson kid, and he seems okay. Helped with hay baling last summer. You can go, but don’t expect to be making this a regular thing! And you sit with your girlfriends. Straight to Sandy’s after the soda. Now go do the dishes.” George leaned against the back of his chair and lit a cigarette. His clothes were dusty from the fields. He never showered until after he had eaten and finished his work on the farm. “I’ve got a shipment of soybeans due in tomorrow. Gotta get the shed swept out yet tonight. Looks like a sunny spring day tomorrow.” Carrie hugged him. “Thanks, Dad! You’re the best!” *** So began the love story between Carrie at twelve and a half and Colin at almost fourteen, a story that would span decades of happy times and challenges in farm country surrounding a small Midwestern town. “When two children in school say they love each other, it doesn’t mean very much to them, and they take it at face value. However, if those two children were to grow up and marry, the word love would have much more depth and meaning because the two would more fully comprehend what they were saying” (Angelfire.com). The Greek verb form ‘meno’ translates as “intensive”. “’Hupomeno’ means to remain in a place instead of leaving it; to stay behind or persevere.” (Angelfire.com). The Greek ‘meno’ is the word for abide. Pastor Bobby once preached about abiding love, using boards and a bolt, as you see on the front cover, to demonstrate the commitment. If the two parts are not firmly joined with a nut and a washer, the bolt will fall out or roll away, and the boards separate. Carrie and Colin are the epitome of abiding love.   Chapter 1 - Carrie-Fall, 1968 I remember communication among middle school students was often a note handed from one person to another, or contacting a friend who knew a friend to pass along information. Such was the case for Carrie. I smiled as her granddaughter Megan climbed onto her lap, her legs stretched out on the footrest. Carrie began the story Megan requested. “I lived with my parents, Adele and George, just a mile north of town on the farm. An old two-story house stood a ways back from the road, torn down years ago, with a barn and machine shed in the farmyard where these are to this day. I shared a bedroom with my older sister, Margaret. We tolerated each other, but did not get along too well. My older brother, Tommy, died from a bicycle/car accident when he was very young. It was a tragedy for the whole town at the time. My dad never got over it. He always felt there was something he might have done to prevent it. Both of my parents were from well-known families in the area, where there are still lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins. “