“Is That Your Aunt in the Attic?”

Hurry, Edith. The cab will be here any minute, are you ready to go?” “Be right there, Edna. I… just….have…..to…..zip……up…..my suitcase.” Edith grunted. “What on earth are you doing?” Edna asked after hearing Edith’s cryptic outburst. “Can’t…get….it….to…..close.” Edith grunted again as she tried to zip her suitcase closed while sitting on top of it. “Hold on Edith, I’ll help you.” Edna said as she walked down the hallway to her sister’s room. She found Edith balanced on top of her bulging suitcase. “Oh, my God Edith, what in the hell did you pack?” “Just….a…..few….things…..I…….need…..” Edith grunted again as she tried to keep from falling off of the suitcase. Edna walked over to the bed and started pulling Edith off the suitcase. “Here. Get off a minute.” Edna said as she opened the suitcase. “Edith! Why on earth do you need this big puffy winter coat?” She exclaimed as she pulled the large down coat out of the suitcase. “We’re going to San Francisco, remember?” Edith answered as she walked over to Edna and took the coat away from her sister who was about to hang it back in the closet. “Yes, I remember, but again, why are you taking this big coat?” Edna asked as she grabbed the coat away from her sister. “Someone once said, ‘the coldest weather I ever experienced was a vacation in San Francisco’, or something like that, remember?” Edith explained as she grabbed the coat away from Edna and put it back in her suitcase and tried closing the lid. “Yes, I know. But it’s not summer and all you need is a light jacket, just in case, and maybe a sweat shirt. That should be plenty. I’m taking this big coat out. Find a jacket, Edith.” Edna said as she removed the coat from the suitcase and walked over to the closet and hung it up. “There are two jackets already in there, Edna, and three sweatshirts.” Edith explained as she reluctantly gave in to her sister. “Then you don’t need any more.” Edna said as she closed the suitcase, zipped it, and placed it on the floor. “Okay. But if I get cold, it’ll be your fault.” Edith complained. “You’ll be fine, Edith. If you get cold I’ll buy you a damned coat!” Edna commented as she passed the handle of the suitcase to her sister. Just then they heard a horn blow outside. “There’s the cab now. Do you have your airline tickets?” “Yes.” Edith answered as she picked up her purse and hung it over her shoulder. “They’re right in here.” She patted her bag then wheeled her suitcase down the hallway to the front door. “Then we’re off to San Francisco.” Edna yelled eagerly. Edna Barnes and Edith Johnson are sisters in their early sixties. For over twenty years they worked in the office of B&E Investigations and eventually married the owners, Bill Barnes and Eric Johnson. Both men have since passed away, but since the sisters also shared the same passion for the investigation field they decided to open their own private investigation company called E&E Investigations. Both Edna and Edith thoroughly enjoy the thrills and excitement that arise from reconnaissance jobs, stakeouts and the occasional uncovering of an unfaithful spouse. One of their most recent cases arose from walking their dog one evening when they accidently stumbled upon some mobster’s henchmen waiting to execute a hit on a federal witness. The sisters, unaware at the time of what was going on, alerted Edith’s son Eddie of their strange behavior. Eddie, who was recently promoted to Detective with the local Police Department investigated further and discovered that the men in the vehicle were sent to kill the main witness in a federal racketeering trial. The mobster who ordered the hit was Luis Gdulinski and the target was his cousin Joey. With the help of another cousin in the FBI, Gdulinski found out that it was the sisters who had prevented the hit. This infuriated the hell out of him so he added them to the hit list offering a cool half million for their demise. Edith, in addition to her son Eddie also has a daughter Elaine who is married to a brilliant Architect named Carl Stone and they have a pre-teen daughter Elizabeth. When Elizabeth was very young the family relocated to San Francisco for Carl’s work. After several failed attempts on the sisters’ lives, including a pipe bomb thrown into their office and a drive-by shooting at their home, the ladies decided it was time to get the hell out of Dodge for a while and made arrangements to visit Edith’s daughter in San Francisco. Before leaving the sisters walked around the house checking doors and windows. Edna then set the house alarm, locked the front door and after a quick look around the house the pair walked out to the cab waiting at the curb. “Morning, ladies.” The driver said as he opened the trunk and loaded the two suitcases and carry-ons into the trunk. Edna and Edith greeted the cab driver then piled into the back seat. They both looked back at their house as the cab drove away, silently hoping that it would still be there when they returned. Neither of them noticed the black puddle pooling under Edna’s car in the driveway. “This is exciting, isn’t it?” Edith yelled anxiously as she buckled her seat belt. “Yes, it is. It doesn’t seem possible that in about four hours we’ll be on the west coast.” Edna answered excitedly. Edith’s phone rang and she answered it. It was Eddie. “Are you guys on the way to the airport?” He asked.