Symphony of Redemption

Tonight we went to a little pizza place overlooking the Ganges River in Varanasi. The pizza was unexpectedly good. The ice cream we had after dinner was even better. Following desert, we drove down to a different part of town. We stopped at a place that looked somewhat ordinary with tall buildings all around. The street was filled with people, cows and stray dogs. We got out of the car and started walking down a narrow street that went in between two looming buildings. The road was so narrow that if I had laid down across it, I could have reached out and touched both sides. Motorcycles, bikers, pedestrians and cows moved along with us down the street until we were deep in the five-thousand-year-old city. It felt like a maze to me and I doubted that I could have ever found my way out without help. In some spots the street became so dark that I couldn’t see what was in front of me. On either side of us there weren’t any individual houses. It was a continuous long brick wall connecting buildings together. The doors were painted dark red and the windows were dimly lit. There were also little shops along the way selling things like sodas, cigarettes and sometimes big black balls of hash. The thick night air smelled like incense, trash, blood and burning wood. We went deeper into the ancient city. After walking some more, the street opened up and we could hear a man singing. As we got closer, we saw there was a crowded outdoor café where people were dancing to the music. There were arches built into the walls containing big piles of firewood all around. Now we could see all the way down to the river. There were people sleeping on big cement staircases that lead down to the dark brown water of The Ganges. The entire place had an almost tangible vibration. There were crowds of people watching some fires that had been built down by the water line. There were about six or seven fires that were giant and roaring. The energy was palpable and I was totally enthralled. A group of people appeared, walking down one of the narrow streets toward the river. They were carrying a wooden cot on their shoulders. On the cot was a human body wrapped in white cloth with a golden blanket draped over the top. They made their way down to the river and bathed the body. Then they brought the body up to one of the fires. It was then that I realized what I was seeing. We were at an outside crematory. We walked closer to get a better view. We were on a huge concrete slab near the outdoor café. We had a perfect view of the river and the fire where the body had just been placed. The fire shifted and began to lick at the body. Slowly, the body began to catch fire. At first, I was so overwhelmed I thought I may cry, but no tears came. The scene was too intense for tears. Nobody else was crying either. Everyone was happy and celebrating life. I watched the fire so intensely that I couldn’t have turned away even if I tried. It was as if there were magnets in my eyes and I couldn’t pull them away. I was hypnotized. It was amazing to see death dealt with in this fascinating way while carrying a brand new spark of life inside me. People talked, mangy dogs scratched themselves, firelight glowed revealing trash heaps along the bank. Nothing was sacred. Everything was sacred. The heat from the fire was warming my face and the smoke drifted toward us. The ashes found their way to our clothes, our hair, and inside our noses. I wonder how much of this person I brought back on myself or even in my lungs. I breathed the air in thoughtfully to properly analyze the smell. I wanted to remember it so that I could write it down and never forget. It smelled bitter and heavy like burnt coffee, burnt hay, and burnt plastic. All mixed in was the more familiar scents of wood and incense burning. The smell was so distinct that I would recognize it instantly even after fifty years passing. As the fire eventually consumed the body, it burned off the cloth wrapped around it, revealing an ankle here and some fingers there. It felt very intimate for me to watch that happen. I was spellbound. I have no idea how long we stood there, watching as the body turned to ash. I looked at Walter with a smile on my face, but hadn’t the words to tell him how much I loved it. He had taken time out of his business trip to show me something incredible. It had been one of the most amazing nights of my life. “I knew you would like it,” he said. Awestruck, I simply nodded in agreement. This morning he did it again. We went back to the river. He hired a man to row us in a little boat that looked kind of like a kayak. We went out on the calm and dark water to watch the sunrise. What an incredible trip. It is something I will never, ever forget.