FORBIDDEN PLACES STRANGE FACES

I started to think about the past; a few years ago I had been having what I thought to be some bad turn of events in life and was feeling a little lost, dazed and confused, which was probably due to some of the great French red wine that I had discovered, found comfort in and became very happy with that year; many a bottle sat listening to my stories of true happiness and despair without judging me, it was a perfect relationship for a while, because in a way they were like women: they had such lovely bodies, perfectly formed, smooth curves, dark complexion, long neck, and no head…….Hmmmm! I chuckled to myself with that image in my mind, visualising a relationship with no arguments and total satisfaction….yes another great year, let’s do it again tomorrow my dear, hic! Well my imagination never did need much to set it off spinning down some rabbit hole to appear in another world drinking tea with the mad hatter himself, so that year was a bit of a blur really with chasing rabbits down holes and apart from a little work that I was fortunate to pick up, it all occupied me well enough until something came along to inspire me further......travelling! Well those first few steps into a totally different part of the world, culture, strange sounds, sights, smells, and real banana trees instead of the plastic ones in the supermarket, real fruit and vegetables that did not taste like plastic ones in the supermarket! Certainly aroused some dormant enthusiasm cells and I am eternally grateful to these caring people for helping me take these first exciting new steps towards the sun and light again, but maybe the travelling has become just another vice to substitute the other ones, as I found myself on that insatiable path of wanting to see more, go further, go higher. Now I sit here frozen like a startled rabbit, numb still from the events of the last 24 hours. I am covered in dust, mud, grime, snot……and freezing to the core of my being, somewhere behind that glazed expression is me. I am dazed. I am amazed. I am shocked… ….but very much alive! I recall the events just one day before replaying various bits of it in my minds eye; the marathon road trip that lay just a few seconds ahead of my unknowing as I set off down an uncertain road, a forbidden road, with the only certainty of being uncertain, and hoped a ride would come along soon. That morning I had felt unusually good and positive; there was love welling up in my heart and I felt as clear as the blue sky above me, just as cloudless and unhindered by doubt. The distance ahead of me did not matter I was sure something would happen and that I will get through here. The feeling was overwhelming and I had to stop just to feel it, to respect it, to allow it recognition. I gazed peacefully around me becoming transfixed in the distance, where a huge horizon of white tipped mountains pierced the heavens. They regarded them here as sacred mountains and in that moment I could understand why. I felt them as though they were watching me, their power, and their wisdom. They looked so beautiful, so close and again I felt as though I could reach out and touch them. I could have stayed in this place indefinitely, my mind, my heart so completely surrendered. I felt a kind of death, but it was beautiful, no fear just surrender and then being cradled by it. My mind was so still in timelessness there was no need for anything, no desire, no fight just an incredible feeling of deep love, respect, honour and of letting go, of faith........I let it all go and I turned away to follow a road I did not care where, when or how; I just knew this was the way I was to go and everything was going to be fine.