Joy’s Edge

Back in college, I loved studying ecology. One tidbit I found fascinating had to do with the types of habitats that creatures seek. Some animals prefer to live in the center of an ecosystem, such as the heart of a rainforest or deep in the ocean, while others prefer to live where two or more ecosystems meet, such as on a coast or at the edge of a clearing. My professor pointed out that people seem to belong to this second lot: the edge creatures. We seek out shorelines—whether along rivers or oceans—and are willing to pay quite a premium for these edge habitats. Where edges don’t exist, we create them: when we move into forests we cut down trees, and when we move to clearings, we plant them.

In the context of self-development, our love for edges can be quite useful. In yoga, sometimes we talk about finding your edge. The idea is that people generally have a comfort zone. In running, the comfort zone may be the speed that allows easy conversation. In stretching, it’s the place you can reach without experiencing change over time. In careers, it’s the level of advancement that requires no studying or planning outside the work day. In raising children, it’s disengaged parenting, where you go through the motions—absentmindedly meeting physical needs without nurturing your child’s spirit or engaging your child’s mind. The comfort zone differs among people. And, for each of us, it changes both throughout a day and throughout a lifetime.

It may seem easy to rest in the comfort zone—but, ironically, it is not, in the long run, comfortable at all. We may imagine that being deep within the comfort “habitat” feels good, but when we are honest, we can see that life without growth and exploration can be quite boring. In fact, if you always stay within your comfort zone, your skills often diminish and your comfort zone shrinks. We are happier living where we are sufficiently challenged to support learning and growth without being so challenged as to feel overwhelmed. We feel best when we are discovering and expanding our edges.

So, in yoga, we talk about finding the edge, the place where we are challenged, but not stressed. For example, a person beginning a jogging regimen may run a few blocks to start, increasing the distance as endurance builds. A person building flexibility consciously discovers his stretching comfort zone and then reaches just a little beyond it. Reach too far, and injury is likely. But, reach just beyond what is easy, and flexibility improves. In our careers, we keep up with changes in our industries, studying in our spare time. We may keep our eyes open for midlife career shifts, and we do the work to support whatever area we feel we should grow. In parenting, we are actively engaged in utilizing teaching moments to encourage discovery. By seeking out the edges, we support exploration, growth, and, consequently, joy.

It is possible for you to live an awakened life—attending to your opportunities for growth in each moment, each day, each week, each month, and each year. I firmly believe that each of us feels much more fulfilled when we actively seek out our edges, and walk on our just right paths. So many of us struggle with feelings of disconnection between parts of our selves, or within our families, communities, or environments. Living authentically at joy’s edge is about accepting where you are, while also creating and living a life that you love. It is about honoring all your parts—valuing and integrating your emotional, physical, social, mental, spiritual, familial, and economic lives; embracing your gifts and your shadows, and living a life with open eyes—gently, compassionately, and authentically engaged in becoming more deeply and beautifully aligned with who you really are.