Genetic Makeup

Insight light generates growth and establishes probabilities, perseverance, positivism through the branch of biological beliefs. It was a time of growth, time to move away from clashes and seek alternative methods to grow positively. Grow in the way of my families identity, to establish them and myself keeping the family together. Keeping your family happy, together and compromising at times was a skill that needed work and it was not going to be easy. Life, love and power - these three were the highest common factors of life which were so interwoven and multiple that had to begin the thought process going if wanted success and access to divine love. ‘Because we are so exposed to social disease it makes it easier for them to attack us.’ My mum told the reporter, as he wrote everything down. My brother and I stood at the back of the room, opposite the reporter, thinking did he really have any idea what was going on in our mind, did he really know what we were living through? I concluded my own thought - he didn’t. He was going to make his notes, reassure us and go away showing his work of bravery to the world at our expense. We had not been to school for a few days now, my father stacked on food for us and everything we needed for a few weeks, we were prisoners in our own homes, our nights were deathly dark and dreary, our nightmares articulated fiery and oppressive images of the days, our minds were being controlled and dehumanised. We saw death smoke trailing, heard sound vibes drumming in our ears, crying coffins being buried and I felt cold as my blood ran black. I suffered hypnophobia so did my brother. At that moment in time, we were living between life and death. The day before must have been the worst day of my life, the building next to ours was bombed late evening. It was sudden, and our immediate reaction was to panic, our building shook and windows almost cracked the daylights out of us. My mum ran from the kitchen and my dad from the bedroom, instinctly, we all looked at each other. My dad told us to stay quiet but my brother, Ali and I were too disturbed we were very close to tears and panic attacks because our lives, our survival was being threatened, we did not know the reason behind all this chaos at the time but I assumed we were being targeted so we don’t build power for ourselves whatever it was, it was killing us. There was no peace, we were imperfect and faulty in their powerful eyes. But that did not stop our elders from defending. We were in a vicious circle, the more they killed our children, the more were produced, we were lost and psychologically expatriated as a nation. Our tribe, our colonies, our forefathers had suffered a lot in the past with world conflicts. We were one nation and one colony and we were not going to give up without a fight. There is nothing wrong with forming a colony no matter which way you look at it, the problem is the way you live in that colony that makes the difference – not the colony itself, even ants by Allah (swt) order work in colonies, we have to for survival, we as individuals belong to colonies that make societies and further develop culture. My dad went out to look at the building that had been bombed, he came back after a few minutes crying loudly, moving his arms in an upwards and downwards motion for the people whom he worked with, lived all his life with. His weakness and his sadness in those moments gave us way to go out and see for ourselves. My mum held onto my brother and me tightly keeping her grip tight all the way between her forklike hands. We hung onto her hijab, shaking and shivering thinking if we were going to come back alive or not. We believed it was our turn next, we are going to die and nobody could do anything about it. We were going to see our future in front of us and there was nothing we or anybody in that space of time could do anything about it. We anxiously made our way out and began climbing the heap of rubble. We were wearing slippers and some debris got caught between our feet causing cuts and grazes. We did not stop – as our eyes opened deeper and wider into the approaching, deepening night, ambulance sirens hailed ghostly closer, death was near and believe me those sirens still dominate my fears today. It was getting even more dark and cold as our men and our women cried and cursed the Israelis. We joined the other children as they cried amongst the rubble and pulling people out all at the same time. My mum and other women from the village cried branching their arms towards the black sky - mourning. We children huddled together, looking through the debris, finding our lost homes. My dad and our men began moving the debris and looking for people, they found a few of our people, mumbling in pain, with bloodshot eyes and faces and arms leaking blood, a few reporters quickly took photographs as the bodies were placed on stretchers and stored into the ambulances. Amongst the rubble Khaled, my friend clambered his way out of the debris holding onto his baby sister, I did not recognise his face in the dark but his screams and cries for his dead parents made his presence clear in the night. ‘Ummi, abbun !’ he wailed over and over again. I could just make out his face when the sirens flashed over his face, he had a few grazes on his face and his sister was crying reaching out to his face as he wailed and cried his heart out for Israel’s crimes. We stood there, with continuous flashes and noise from sirens, reporters taking pictures and people yelling and screaming we were living hell. I managed to crawl my way to Khaled on the tallest heap of rubble, I put my arms around him and took his baby sister, but he was inert, not at all there. In the distance, I could see an apparition of ceaseless smoke losing its force and power as it moved upwards towards the sky, not the genie I was use to seeing in Aladdin and the Magic Lamp, which granted wishes, and how I wished at that moment, that fairytale would come true and I could put everything right again. The smoke whiffed into the air as the fire smoked hostility, I just watched knowing there that was nothing I could do. lifeless and hopeless just as Khaled.