I am Pat

MAKING PANCAKES

I’m making pancakes again Full of blueberries and walnuts Good grains Juicy with butter and powdered sugar

I had thought I could not cook anything Like I used to Mixing this and that Together

Somehow one day I changed my mind Decided decided To try again for Greater complexity in my meal-making

I don’t know why I stopped Why I went for many years thinking I couldn’t

I am reclaiming lost parts of myself In this simple activity Finding a self that once was strong Sturdy definite

All this illness took that me away Focused me instead somewhere else Without that rich everyday life Gave me another life to grow through

I really wonder who runs all this stuff Who decides and brings into beingness Surely I would not die to such good Everyday in order to live illness

It is all so strange

I guess I turned to another inner city Than the healthy busy one I had known So long An inner city where my body became Demanding of me another way of life

GRUMPS

You're grumpy! Do you want me to be grumpy, too? Too old grumps Together might be Better than any other Options right now

Or I could leave you be If you want me to

Grouchy grumpy Yum yum That's who my lover is!

Moods we get in. Are you chasing me? He says. Yes I am, I say. Maybe I should tickle you, I say. Body contact is always Good.

I love you, my girl, He says. Aaahhh, that's What I need to hear, I say. Making up.

My old-shoe self Loves your old-shoe self Without reservation.