True Stories I Just Made Up

Lucky to Have Each Other
An eagle, a monkey and a beaver all lived together in their home in the forest. The eagle’s name was Earl and every morning he would fly out into the forest and gather firewood to cook with. He would stack the wood against the side of the house and it would be there when needed. Later each day, Monty the monkey, would gather enough wood to cook with and bring it inside. He would then start the fire, put the pot over the fire and chop up the food, getting all prepared for their meal. Beatrice (the beaver, duh!) would put all the food in the pot that Monty had prepared and keep it stirred with her tail until all was ready. Then the three would enjoy a fine meal together, discussing how lucky they were to have each other.
One day while flying very far from their home in search of firewood, Earl met a bobcat named Joey…I know what you’re thinking, but Bob is his older brother. Now, Joey knew the three friends lived together and helped each other with the chores and since he had no friends he was going to try and stir up trouble. “So you have to get up early to gather firewood every morning while your ‘friends’ sleep late, huh? That seems to me like they are getting the better of you.” Earl thought that although he never minded getting up early, he wouldn't mind getting to sleep a little later every now and again. And as he gathered wood, he thought how he is always the one who has to leave the house while the others get to stay home all day, too. By the time he got home, he was ready to sit down and talk with his friends about this.
While they were having their dinner that evening, Earl explained he felt they were using him. Monty said he was sorry they didn't notice it was bothering him before, but now that they knew, he would be glad to gather the firewood every morning. Beatrice said she would be glad to start the fire, put the pot over the fire and chop the food to get it prepared. Earl thanked them both and said he would keep the pot stirred until all was ready. They went to sleep that night very content and happy they had each other.
The next morning, Earl and Monty were both up early. Earl had tried to sleep late, but since he was used to rising early, he just tossed and turned. He said goodbye to Monty and thought what a fine time he would have staying home. A very short time later, Beatrice was up and handed Earl a broom and dustpan. “It’s time to straighten the house up before Monty gets back.” So Earl worked most of the morning cleaning. Staying at home isn't as much fun as he thought it would be!
Meanwhile Monty walked and walked. He had never gathered firewood before, but it seems all the firewood that was close has already been gathered. His little legs weren't made for travelling a long way. He grew very tired and needed to rest often. Finally, though, he had gathered enough wood to take home, but it was so heavy it took a really long time to get back. In fact it was almost dark when he arrived with the wood. Beatrice came out to greet him, with a gauze bandage on her hands and face. She explained, when he was so late they brought in firewood that Earl already had stacked, but she had a bit of trouble with the matches, since she doesn’t have thumbs! She was so glad to see Monty, but he was so exhausted, he could only smile. They walked in the house just in time to see Earl dancing around hooping and hollering. “I don’t see how you can stir that HOT food with your tail!”
During dinner that evening, they decided to have thing go back to the way they were. Earl was never so happy to fly out for wood. Monty was glad to sweep and dust and get the dinner started and Beatrice was just glad their food didn't taste like scorched eagle feather! All three felt very happy to have each other as friends.
 
The Long-Nosed No-Name
The busy bee bebopped by a butterfly. The fluttering butterfly was muttering “Where has all the pollen gone?” The bebopping bee glanced about…all the pretty flowers, the red ones and the blue ones and even the yellow ones all had the pollen taken from them. Every last poll was gone. The butterfly fluttered and uttered “This is impossible, this can’t be!” They both wondered what type of fiendish felon would possibly pilfer this pasture’s pollen. They did not have to wonder long.
Along came a long nosed No-Name. Because no one had ever seen a long nosed No-Name, no one ever named them, but there was one now putting his long nose into the pretty flowers and sucking all the pollen out. “Huh, must have already pulled the pollen from these pansies” noted No-Name as he drew nothing from a pretty flower. He twaddled and waddled toward another pansy patch (as only a long nosed No-Name can do) fully intent on procuring pure pansy pollen when the busy bee buzzed by and bit his bottom.
The No-Name looked around, but as you are well aware, a long nosed No-Name doesn't see well. He could not espy the busy, buzzing biter, but could perceive his buzz. He swung his snout, swishing the site he sensed the stinger would be, but only managed to swat his own already bothered behind. The sensation of swatting his sensitive side evoked a shrill sound from the No-Name. As he breathed in from his strenuous scream, the butterfly was caught in the rush of air and entered the No-Name’s nose.
He found it warm and completely coated with pollen. He fluttered about inside No-Name’s nasal tunnel, tickling the titanic snout until the No-Name could stand it no longer and sneezed a sneeze that was sure to please…him. Well, out came the butterfly, out came all the pollen he’d collected and out came other stuff its probably best not to talk about. The long nosed No-Name sniffled then he snuffled and left this pollen polluted pansy patch probably forever.