Safe

“Alexa? You know tomorrow marks the two-year anniversary of you being single. I think it’s time you start getting back into the swing of things.” I put my fork down and sighed heavily. Things were going great; in fact I was even beginning to enjoy myself until she brought up the anniversary date. I knew exactly what tomorrow’s date was and I was trying to forget about it but now it was impossible to forget. “Karsyn, I don’t want to talk about this so please drop it.” As she looked at me from across the table I could see the determination in her eyes. As much as I wanted to forget this conversation I knew it was far from over. “Alexa, I just don’t understand. It’s been two years since Bryce. What are you so afraid of? He’s gone. He’s not coming back. Are you afraid of him returning, or are you afraid you might actually fall in love again?” “Karsyn, please drop it! Do I have to remind you of how broken I was after Bryce? You above anyone else should know this. You were there. You saw how broken I was and helped bring me back to this. I thank you for that, but please understand that I’m not ready and I ask that you support me in that decision.” I sat there looking at her as I shuddered at the thought of where I was when Bryce left me. Just thinking about it made my eyes water. I took a deep breath while closing my eyes and opened them only to find Karsyn staring at me with disappointment in her eyes. “Alexa, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want you to be happy that’s all.” I knew Karsyn meant well but I wasn’t ready to embark on dating, trusting or even getting into a relationship just yet. I needed more time to forget the pain and sorrow, as well as the guilt I carried with me.