TO GIRLS BE THE GLORY

“Hmm…hmm…hmm…” the man began to mutter when she tapped him several times. “Papa Precious, Papa Precious, it is me Mama Precious…” “Yes, yes, what is it?” “It is me Mama Precious…” she said in a pleading tone, “I want you to join me in prayer… let’s pray to the Lord –” “To hell with your prayers!” he snapped quite unlike someone just roused from sleep. “How many times will I warn you not to interrupt my sleep with the babbling you call prayers?” “Papa Precious, don’t speak like that… have you not heard that the family that prays and praises God together always stays together…that is what Pastor Femo says and that is the truth. Pastor Femo also says –” “Enough of that rubbish woman!” the man cut in angrily again, “I don’t want to hear with these ears of mine, what your Pastor Femo says in this house again!” “Papa Precious, but it is God who gave you those ears…” In the above excerpt from Faith on Trial, the man in the dialogue was not only converted a few months later but the rabid fanatic he later become actually made him to see this same wife as a sinner not worth marrying any longer. In Beneath the Display Major Kuko was sneaking out of a revival to which the unattractive female dentist had invited him when she caught up with him. He saw the light in her eyes in that encounter and she became charming from then on while in Welcome to Kaduna Maria the nymph discovered when it was too late why it was unwise to force an unwilling lover she had not seen for months to make love to her. Baro, in A Man With A Plan was so pleased after making a plan of how he was going to spend his next month’s salary he decided to reward himself with a beer at his favourite joint. He was traced there by a girl friend who was accompanied by another girl and before they left the place that evening, his plan was in ruins. Kohwo, in The Stark Illiterates, was so impressed by the regal comportment of his friend’s wife and her group at a funeral party that he wanted to interview her and the leader of her group. When his host informed him that his wife and all members of her group were market women and stark illiterates, he began to wonder if he too, for failing to discern this, was also not a stark illiterate too! In My African Queen the dialogue below ensued when a healthy man decided to make love to a woman who became disconsolate because she had tested positive: …When her countenance did not change throughout my entreaties, I then told her that I was going to throw the condoms away and meet her as she was so we both could die. “Why would you do a stupid thing like that?” she asked me. “I want to become a god – when one die for another out of love, one becomes a god…” “You must not die,” she cut in, “you must stay alive to take care of my children…you must stay alive to tell the world that I did not die of AIDS…because if the world sees you healthy and kicking, it would be concluded that maybe it was not AIDS that I died from…my Oyibo, you must not die. Don’t become a god…Let me only die, I am ready to die if you agree to stay alive!” Mr. and Mrs. Abednigo were the perfect couple if ever there was such a pair but how they ended up made Mr. and Mrs. Ikuakpogbe to regret once envying them. Their tragic story goes by the title: The Ideal Couple. A lady parted with a man because he was too stingy but a few months later they were reunited and his stinginess became a virtue that was hailed to high heavens by this same lady! Find out how this came about in Mocking Bird. Due to space constraint, all the fourteen stories are not previewed here but those not included are no less intriguing.