What Mama Didn't Tell Ya
Relationship Advice for the Young and Young at Heart
by
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"Men, like women, need to have friends. They need to be able to have people outside of a relationship to engage with. Whatever it is that they like doing whether talking about/playing/watching football/sports, going clubbing, to dinner, to the cinema, whatever it is, they don’t always need to do it with you as their girlfriend. They need to have an outlet that allows them the space to talk about things without threat of upsetting you or having to express their deep feelings. They need the opportunity to speak to others be it about relationships or other things that may puzzle them, without that conversation being with you. Accept it. It doesn’t mean they like you less, it doesn’t mean they prefer the company of others, it’s just different that’s all." "Being able to love yourself is not selfish. If you do not love and respect yourself, who will and why should they?" "I believe in love. In true love. The awe-inspiring, earth-shattering, can’t eat, can’t sleep, can think of little else and driving your friends crazy (as his/her name is mentioned dreamily in every sentence) kind of love. I love falling and being in love. To feel your heart beating wildly in your chest at the mere thought of him, the butterflies in your tummy as you wait with anticipation for him to pick you up for a date, the silly grin that’s a permanent fixture on your face and your futile attempts to hide it. In fact you don’t even have to be in love to feel this way. The good, early stages of a relationship or a simple crush on a guy is enough to turn you into a love wreck, a fumbling fool with not a care in the world. It’s fabulous! I have and will always agree with the old adage ‘better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all’. " "Marriages and other relationships break up all the time nowadays. I am not pointing the finger or apportioning blame on anyone here. However, when we are in a relationship we are 50% of that partnership. Maybe your partner is in the wrong, maybe you have been misguided in choosing them to begin with. Maybe our mistake was allowing a co-dependent relationship to develop without challenging ourselves or the other person. Either way if we are not part of the solution, we are part of the perceived problem. One thing we must not ever do to our children is put them in the middle of this battle by blaming or speaking badly about the other parent to them. Never, never, never! Encourage the people around you to also make sure they do not do this. This type of behaviour causes conflict in the child and no matter how bad we are feeling or how much we dislike their other parent, we must make a conscious decision not to bad mouth them. Children in this situation become confused as they process information differently to adults and this may ruin their relationship with their other parent. Sometimes even if we had a bad relationship with our partner, they may dote on their children and that positive regard is essential for a child growing up emotionally balanced." "Once you know what the problem is, find a solution. Be proactive in this because no-one else can do it for you. People can help you along your journey but no-one can do the work for you. You won’t come home one day to your man saying, “honey that self esteem of yours that was broken, I put in a couple of nails and it’s as good as new!” "I believe we only get one life. Even if you believe in reincarnation when you come back I doubt you can remember your previous lives, so it’s like starting again – one life. When we are young we feel life is so long and we have forever to make up our minds and get started. The truth is, life is fleeting and how much of it we actually live rather than just exist, is up to us. We do not get the opportunity to re-live life, it just continues. Whatever we do, we cannot undo, but we can add value to it by counting it as experience and not repeating mistakes." "As women, we can sometimes be our own worst enemy. Our insecurities plague us. We focus on the negatives and even find negatives where there are none. We think we are too fat, to skinny, too tall, too short, have the wrong nose, hips, lips, eye colour, etc, etc, etc. We must turn our view point around and realise that we have the best view of ourselves and think about why we feel this way. Every single human being is different and quite rightly so. No one has drawn a short straw. Everyone can love and be loved. There is someone for everyone in this world but no-one wants a negative, self-loathing person who is uncomfortable in their own skin. Teach yourself to always be positive, to look for the good in all situations. Think about what you want instead of what you don’t want. You just might get it!"
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About the Book
What Mama Didn’t Tell Ya! (Relationship Advice for the Young and Young at Heart) While it is envisioned the main readership will be female, this book will also appeal to a male audience in enabling them to seek guidance as to how to successfully address their own interactions with the world. It is a must read for young girls even before they enter their first relationship, women who are at various stages in the relationship ‘world’ as well as boys and men who are interested in finding out about themselves and their interactions with women. What Mama Didn’t Tell Ya provides advice for young girls through to older women. The advice relates to emotional self-discovery and gaining an understanding of relationships. It is insightful and understands how difficult it is for young people to assimilate their understanding of what is going on in the world as well as with their own emotions. It encourages people to get to know themselves and establish their standards and boundaries in a way that will benefit their future relationships, not only romantic ones, but all relationships. Using straight-talking and uncomplicated language with references from music, poetry and comedy, the book brings the issues to life with examples of actual situations. This book aims to answer important questions and raise issues for people from all ages (above 16), genders, ethnicities, countries and walks of life. It provides a platform by which to gain insight into the interplay between childhood and adulthood, current and possible future relationship issues, personal safety and matters encompassing sexual health and intimacy. What Mama Didn’t Tell Ya reads as a non-judgmental conversation with a friend, imparting knowledge with a witty but dry sense of humour whilst asking the reader to consider their own opinions on topics at particular stages. It does not seek to impose particular views, it rather gives the reader food for thought in how and why they handle relationships in the way they do in order that they can make their own informed choices for their future.
About the Author
Jae J. LeBrou was born and raised in England, to Ghanaian parents. She grew up mainly in the UK and spent brief spells living in America and Ghana as an adult.
Jae J’s love of working with people drew her into the field of Social Work where she has been a qualified practitioner for over 15 years. She has worked within various disciplines of Social Work focusing on Child Protection and Parental Substance Misuse. Jae J’s experience of working closely with people, often in a therapeutic environment, has given her the opportunity to have a deeper insight into relationships acknowledging the interplay between parents and their children, husbands and their wives, social friendships, peer groups and the like. These have all influenced her opinions and culminated in the formulation of this book.
Jae J. LeBrou lives in England with her family where the idea for this book was formulated. Whilst originally an information booklet advising her daughter about relationships, it expanded into a relationship advice book that cut across the age, race and gender divide. Using her own professional and personal experiences as well as that of close family and friends, Jae J. has been able to emphasise particular points and show the reality of relationships today.