THE YEARS OF TEARS AND HIS GLORY
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CHAPTER I GOD, HELP ME! I n the early morning hours of August 5, 1996, I was torn from a peaceful sleep into a nightmare of reality. I surfaced through layers of darkness to instantaneous horror. I felt as though there was a vacuum within the room, and I thought the walls and the ceiling were about to be sucked upward from an explosive sound that I could not identify. I was out of bed and on my feet before I was fully awake. I said, “Jim, wake up. Something has happened. It sounds like a helicopter landed on the roof.” The nightlight from the bathroom helped me to see my way as I ran to the bedroom window. Jerking the vertical blinds apart, I saw only the moonlight as it fell to the ground below and beyond our window. I was very frightened. Only then did I realize Jim had not answered me. I turned on the overhead light, and I called his name again and again. I could see that he was lying on his stomach. This, in itself, was unusual, as he never slept that way. His face was buried into the pillow. His arms were stretched out horizontally from side to side and bent forward at the elbows. His body was straight as an arrow. Again I called his name. Nothing. I screamed his name over and over … all the time saying, “No. No.” I tried to lift his shoulders to turn him over onto his back, but it was impossible. He was 6 ft. 3 in. and weighed approximately 230 lbs. He was lifeless. I remember thinking this is what is meant by “dead weight.” I was like a mad woman as crazy thoughts ran through my mind. In total disbelief, I became hysterical. Frantically, I dialed 911. Fighting for control, I gave the dispatcher directions to the house. Turning back to Jim, I struggled to lift his shoulders, and again I tried to turn him over onto his back. He was so heavy. I could not do it. Over and over I screamed his name, and then I began to cry, “God, help me. Give me the strength I need.” Time stood still and held no meaning. In this whole world, it was only the two of us ... Jim and I. Then God granted my prayerful request, and He gave me the strength I needed. As I looked into Jim’s face, I remembered that someone had once told me the eyes were open in death. His eyes were closed. He had the same little grin on his face he often wore when he was teasing me. I tried to find his pulse and found nothing. I put my hands on his shoulders and tried to pull him forward and lift him up
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About the Book
My husband and I retired in 1990. In the year that followed we moved tp Grove, Oklahoma. We were so excited. Confidently, we looked forward to the future that held our plans for a new way of life. Then, with no warning, on August 5, 1996, while we were sleeping mu husband went to be with Jesus. With his passing, our dreams once filled with warmth and expectations, became transparent ashes for me. The life we had known and shared was over. In my grief and sorrow the Holy Spirit came. In the early morning hours of September 14, 1996, I awakened knowing there was a presence within the room. I was not affraid. Although I did not hear an audible voice, He comforted me. From those moments with Him a hunger was born within my heart to know Him better. From that day forward, He became the focus of my life and an inner peace began to grow within me. I invite you to join me and follow the steps of my journey with the Holy Spirit. I believe this book will be a source of healing for those who are experiencing heartache and those who are in spiritual need. I promise you when you give your heart to Jesus, He in return, will then do a greater work in you, and you will reap the rewards of peace, joy and happiness. All monies received form the sale of this book will be donated to the ministries of God.