When I Was Almost Thirteen

This is about the life and the trials, heartaches and many times pain. Of a woman who suffered for many year how as a child she had many visions of Satan and his demons dance around in her bedroom. She did not understand at the time what was going own. Even as she was growing in this life, she went to a funeral and saw a man in the casket. How from that night on until the day she received Jesus in her life. She could feel this man following behind her all the time. Many times, she would look over her shoulder to see, is he there or could it be her mind playing tricks on her. No matter how often she looked, his face never appeared. Even thou there was never anyone there that evil spirit were a constraint companion. This evil spirit fear taunted her on a daily bases. She only revealed it to a couple of people. However, not saying much never telling anyone all the facts for fear they would think she was crazy. How on her granddaddy farm she went out to a little spring to get some water, which was close to a graveyard. As she walked away from the spring, she turned and looked and there was a man walking around in a dress suite. To her horror, she saw this was the man; the family had gone to the funeral home only a few nights before. When she realized what she was seeing she took off running just as fast as her feet would take her. When she arrived back at the barn where everyone was putting up tobacco, many inquired of her what was wrong. She explained of seeing a dead man walking. Everyone said it was just her imagination; everyone wanted to know what he looked like. She told them in detail how he appeared. They looked at one another in shock. Then replied oh child it is just your mind-running wild. Now just calm down everything is fine. As she looked, she could see through her life the many struggled to try to find her own identity and how to cope with all that life had thrown at her. She could not understand then but she does now. Satan was trying to destroy her mind for he knew what was ahead and the souls that would be delivered from there sins’.



Then under the guise of love, how Satan again strikes and tries to rob her again of her very soul. Taking all she had, trying to destroy her wholly, and completely leaving her almost without any strength to fight. Stealing her very innocence at the young age of thirteen. A man that had her very life in his hands was controlling her. Taking and pushing her self-esteem lower and lower down to the bottom. Every day of her life not being able to be herself but belonging to someone else. Having to ask permission for all that, she did to when she went to bed or when she got up in the morning. It even went to the core of when she was, told when to take a shower and when she could not. Who she had permission to be friends with and who she could talk to. How she was suppose to dress. Thru all the many sickness, she had to endure to the point of death on more than one occasion.



As she gave her life over to Jesus, she could bear some things. The Holy Spirit gave her strength. Then there were times she would let her guard down. Before long here would come another flood. Even more trials and more of her husband’s infidelities with many women, she watched her husband commit adultery with one conquest after another. Most of the women or girls were younger much younger than her husband. If she spoke against him, there was always a price to pay, to keep her in her place. His favorite was with gun in hand you do not want anything to happen to the boy’s do you? It was as if she was drowning and was going under for the third time. Then Jesus would extend His mighty hand. He would send an angel to pull her up and let her breathe His breath one more time. She could never have survived if it had not been for the great I AM THAT I AM, GOD almighty.