FIRST STEPS TO FLIGHT

UICIDE NOTE FOR OMOLARA Omolara, With feather dipped in MY blood, I Scribe these words I do not anticipate they would stir you, and The right thing to do would be to Leave silently But since I am senseless, clueless, helpless, hopeless… puppet. I will persist. I sent you roses last week Pretty – pink and blue Mixed, but the only gratitude Was me thanking you That you did not refuse. I love you, I hate you; not hate really, but pain – Pain that you never see me “free am jare!” I have been urged, but – “honey is bitter gall is sweeter what is life if I leave her?” When I met you I was Affluent, beautiful, virgin. Then I sacrificed all on the altar – your bosom. It was not about that really Although that was a welcome fringe benefit. I chuckle whenever I remember that Friday night Sinful yet divine But you rudely interrupt my smile with “Cut the crap dude. It’s not a big deal, I was horny and I f**ked you, so what? I would have f**ked a dog anyway!” My heart stops in systole “I thought we made love” I cry. Did I mention I know Enitan? I can imagine you’re staggered. Ha! Yes, we were colleagues at Ibadan. He owes me for most of what he accomplished Yes, I loathe him somewhat, he took you from me Still, I gave him a ‘loan’ last June When he said he needed the money to buy a gift for you Your species say we are animals With more thought processing occurring in our epididymis than our neurons Yet I all but died of an overdose of *Burantashi because I Wanted to gratify you Perhaps hear you moan my name But rather you exclaimed “Matthew, Matthew Yes! Matthew!” Matthew? Who is Matthew? “Oh, um, um, oh, yes Matthew? Oh yeah that’s a hush-hush moniker I have for you” What?! [shakes head with a sneer of grief] Now that was Olympian. Daily you chuck me, you take a piece of me I cry, I apologize. I stay awake at night no less than four hours past my bedtime ultimately falling asleep with roses in my hand pretending to converse with you by my bedside My heart bleeds Sorry, my bad, it is no longer mine Since you took it You should have asked and I most assuredly would have given it to you But you stole it – no Robbed me of it for I was wide awake When you took my heart away Shame on you Omolara! Shame on you! [cough, cough, cough] I had dreams That you would wear my ring forever That I would marry you thrice That I would plunk my career and move in to a big farm house with you That we would have two kids a girl who looks like you and a boy who would be a mixture of us both That we would make love multiple times each day – having orgasms untold! That we would grow old, together, so old that even when we can’t speak any longer, it would not matter, for I would look in your eyes and the words will be there, All written in bold That we would breathe our last in one Breath and walk hand in hand the Streets of Gold. But no – those were only dreams. So Now that you have slain me I pray you, dismember me also Finish the vocation... [shallow breathing] Notwithstanding sunshine, I will miss you as I die ~wob *Burantashi – local herbal mixture reported to improve sexual potency and drive