Trapped in the Middle
by
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Now I'm begining to realize that I don't really know the man to whom I'm married. Even though we dated for one and a half years before we got married, I never really had much time to hang out with him and meet his friends, since I was always studying, and he frequently told me that he didn't have a lot of friends. One day I came home and one of his guy friends was visiting, whom he had mentioned a few times before, but I had never met him. To my surprise this friend happened to be a flaming fagot, his shirt and pants was tighter fitting than mine. Sorry I don't want to offend anyone, but this was not the picture of a person I associated my husband to be very good friends with. I was so angry, that right after I was introduced to him, I asked him to leave the apartment. I said is this the good friend you are always talking about, he's a flaming fagot and what the hell are the two of you doing in here I want him out of here right now. The guy looked puzzled as he just sat there. I again said I want you to get up right now and leave this apartment and you are never welcomed here again. He got up and left. Monroe was so angry with me that he went into a wild rage I had never in my entire life seen anything like that before. He cursed me out calling me the biggest fucking bitch and every other degrading word one can think of. He then went over to the book shelf, grabbed every book off of it and threw them against the walls in a mad rage. I stood there in the middle of the living room just looking at him I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I heard the nurses talking and laughing louldly at the nurses' station. This made me so mad the nerve of them to be having fun while I was suffering. So I got on my knees in the middle of the bed, I held onto both bed rails and started shaking the hell out of those rails. Intravenous tubing, fetal monitors everything became tangled up. Within a few seconds the entire staff came running into my room, they couldn't believe what they were seeing. They tried prying my hands off the rails, I had such a grip on those rails, they had a hard time getting my hands off, and then they had to untangle all of the I.V. tubing and wires from the fetal monitor. I said to them how dare all of you to sit out there talking and laughing out loudly while I'm in here suffering. Another contraction started, and I asked Monroe to hold the mask to my face so I could breathe in and out of it, he did and at the same time old nurse rached came into the room, she took the mask from him and gave it to me and said that he couldn't hold it I had to be the one to hold it myself. I took the mask and threw it against the wall and told her that she can take that fucking mask and shove it up her ass. That nurse got on her hands and knees and crawled out of my room, she never came back. It was so funny watching her crawl out of my room, but at that time I couldn't laugh the pain was unbearable. I asked him to take her pressure since I could not get a reading on her BP machine, when he did her pressure was 264/140. The EMT then told my mom that they were going to take her to the hospital for treatment because her pressure was too high. When we arrived at the ER, they immediately began working her up, drawing blood starting IV's and giving her medication to help lower her BP. By now it was after midnight and also very obvious that Rebecca wanted to start something. Suddenly Ken jumped out of bed, he opened the door and stood at the top of the stairs and yelled to Rebecca to tone it down he said that he was trying to sleep. This is the opening she was waiting for she started cursing and yelling very loudly, for some unknown reason I decided that I would remain in bed and allow them to settle the battle. That was a bad decision. I heard Rebecca at the top of the stairs they were both very loud and yelling at each other I still did not get up, then I heard him saying get out of my face, and I heard her saying you pushed me. That was enough I jumped out of bed, Ken was still standing at the top of the stairs and Rebecca was in the living room still cursing and heading towards the entertainment center. Suddenly there was a big bang we both ran down the stairs, Rebecca had pulled Ken's stereo off the shelf and thrown them on the floor. She was furious they were both cursing and going towards each other everything was moving very fast I got in the middle trying to keep both of them away from each other, I had both of my arms outstretched one arm toward each of them, I was begging both of them to stop, but neither one of them was listening to me. I had an intense feeling of fear and helplessness, everything was happening very fast, I lost my balance and the next thing I knew Rebecca had jumped on Ken's back and she was throwing punches at him.
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About the Book
It all began as a journal, during the times of my mother's illness I became overwhelmed with all of the complications she was experiencing while hospitalized. The financial burden that occured from her home care, and the family struggles I was experiencing at the time. I felt all alone in the world with my struggles, I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems, so I decided that I would just write everything that was happening during those times just for the sake of writing. It gave me a sense of release, it helped me to express my emotions on paper. I have always been emotionally strong and never depended on anyone for anything, so I found it very difficult to ask for help from anyone. My plan was to complete the journal, make copies and give them to my family members so that they would have an understanding of my struggles. Then I started thinking why not write a book, but that idea soon got swept under the rug. I thought that I couldn't write a book, and if I did who would want to read my story, so for a few years I left it alone. But something kept bugging me that still small voice that my grandmother used to talk about, it kept telling me that I had a story to tell, it's a true story about my life and hopefully my story can be inspirational to many people all over the world both young and old. So I pulled out my journal and started writing, from my very first memories as a young child to my journey to America, my immigration problems, and my marriage to an abusive lunatic, being a single parent, and finding out as an adult who my true father was.