HOLY NIGHT

Professor: No! Selfish. How can anything be mutual when we do not mean what we say? I desire for the earth to be wiped off this moment! All of existence! Because it has not been good to me. Nothing has been good to me! Because my cedar wood scented aftershave makes me sick! For thirty two years I have inhaled the same smell at 7:30am every weekday. I want to wrench my insides. And when those filthy beggars stick their greasy fingers on my car window…I want to shoot them, run them over! In the middle of my Sunday midday laziness, the sweaty Jehovah’s witness ring my door bell, they shove their printed matter in my face…I want my teeth to grind till my temple veins tell them off…I want to stick my able foot in their backsides with all the wasting energy I own. Shame on me! I simply smile and listen, I watch the movement of their chapped lips and when they are done, they pray for me in my pajamas. I have given my life to Jehovah twelve times in the same pajamas with the same face ridden with atonement at my threshold. I shove notes into the sticky fingers on my car I dab the same choking aftershave… All for one ghastly reason. I am unable to be the man I truly am! So my mask evaporates me into a half man. One who always stands on the threshold…a pathetic half man who is unable to remain firm in what he truly desires Let the earth be wiped off this minute. Let the meat shop be blown into unrecognizable pieces Only then can we be our true selves…ashes of irrelevance!