Strange Creatures

Woman on the 'phone. "Everybody's talking at me, I can't hear a word they're saying only the echoes of my mind" Harry Nilsson I had an appointment with my Counsellor today. I look forward to this. We generally don't plan the session or maybe that's the way I am meant to see it. We know each other well and she puts up with no rubbish from me. I am sure that, on occasions, she would like to strangle me. Before my appointment I decide to do some shopping. I like to have a wander around Primark. When they opened their new larger store in town, I took the day off which really puzzled He Who Will Never Be Forgotten. I had actually decided to take the day off anyway. I told him that, as I spent so much money on their goods they would probably expect me to cut the ribbon and declare the store open. When he and I next spoke I explained that they had obviously got someone else to cut the ribbon and, in a fit of pique, I had circumnavigated the store and then left without purchasing anything! I don't think he realised I was joking. So here I am, once again, looking around Primark. There is in front of me a very harassed woman with a young child and an insistent mobile phone. She answers tersely and just says "yes" several times. As she put the 'phone back in her bag, she says, loudly, to the child and onlookers "How am I ever going to get the shopping done if she keeps ringing me?" Well the answer was clear to me, turn off the mobile 'phone. But, of course, there was some mileage in not turning it off. She was in "victim" mode and two things occurred to me. 1. How could she appear harassed without harassment and 2. If she failed to get the shopping done or forgot something then she would not be the one to blame. During the counselling session I tell my counsellor of this incident and she praises me for my observation. I bristle with pride and self-importance. It is only on getting home that I realise I've been out wearing a bright pink top with red lipstick on. As I am not Christine Hamilton, who has a penchant for wearing these two colours together, I bolt the door in case Trinny and Suzannah are coming to get me. Conclusion: Woman who wears the wrong lipstick should not point out others' failings!