The House of Yahweh My Side of the Story

The year 1993 started well enough. I was busy doing the writing and typesetting; business as usual. It would have been about the middle of February that I learned that Margo’s prenatal checkup from the midwife unit did not go well. Something was wrong with my youngest daughter.

Around the first week in March, Margo was in the hospital, surrounded by all The House of Yahweh midwives. Margo refused to stay in the hospital to be tested, so she left against physician’s advice. She soon returned to the hospital, running a fever and vomiting. I went to visit with Margo. She was surrounded by so many visitors and midwives, whom I thought were capable. Yisrayl assured me she was being well taken care of. She left the hospital again. Margo went into premature labor and delivered a son on March 15, 1993. When I went to the hospital to visit her and the baby, she was in the Intensive Care Unit, battling for her life.

I went to see Margo every day after this, praying for her recovery. I took the baby home with me to care for him, and brought him to see Margo every afternoon. Yisrayl complained to me that I was not doing “Yahweh's work.” I informed him that I was doing His work by caring for my daughter and grandson, and if he was inferring that I needed to be at home, doing the writing and typesetting, that he had others who might be able to do this.

I told Yisrayl Hawkins that I would go visit my children; that somehow, every time I did not go to visit Margo, she fell back into some sort of crisis. I remember scheduling feast duties on a notebook and making food purchases by phone as I sat and waited in the visitor’s area in the hospital.

Margo endured at least three surgeries to drain all of the infection from her abdomen. She does not remember much about this time period. I remember praying to Yahweh to spare Margo’s life, and He sent His messengers, the right surgeon and hospital staff. His hand guided their hands. It was told to me later by another physician that he had only seen three other persons with the same type of peritonitis that Margo had, but all of them had died.

Yahshua’s Memorial and Passover Feast of Unleavened Bread were scheduled for April 7 through April 14, 1993. Margo was released from the hospital one day before the feasts began. I was so grateful that she was alive. She was weak and frail as she began to celebrate the feasts, but she was becoming stronger each day.

The auditorium was almost filled to capacity that spring of 1993. Yahshua’s Memorial was observed reverently. The Passover celebration the next night was the most spiritual and exciting event I could ever remember. This was the “ball” of the year and almost everyone was formally dressed. The Seder was read. The dinner was served buffet style, with the Elders presiding. The choir sang The Song of Mosheh, as well as the song, Passover Round.

Each husband sat with his one wife and their children as everyone celebrated together. For the remainder of the Feast week, the sermons were inspired. The music was wonderful. The dinners with the out-of-towners were delightful. The Special Sisters group of Elders’ wives was so enjoyable. There was always something to do for everyone here, young and old, and it was almost always something fun.

To me, almost everything was perfect. There was still Yisrayl’s irresponsible behavior with “her.” I kept praying and waiting for Yisrayl to come to his senses in order to understand that what he was doing was jeopardizing the work of righteousness going on around us.

The Bureau of Alcohol and Firearms had launched a raid on the Branch Davidians in Waco, Texas, on February 28, 1993 where four agents and several Branch Davidians died in the shootout. Yisrayl focused his entire time and attention on the events that followed. The previous year the shootout between Federal Agents and Randy Weaver on Ruby Ridge in Idaho had been his center of attention, along with the “Yahweh nation” and Yahweh ben Yahweh.

Yisrayl just knew that the government was out to get him next. Yisrayl moved the printing equipment into storage so it could not be confiscated. He came to the house and took every address that was on file so the names of the members of The House of Yahweh would not be known, or that’s what he told me. Every effort was taken to thwart any action. Paranoia and fear seemed to dictate almost his every move.

On April 19, 1993 Federal Agents tried to drive out the Branch Davidians with teargas after a 51-day standoff. As many as 86 members, including David Koresh, the leader, and 24 children were thought to have died as the flames raced through the wooden buildings. The headline on the Tuesday, April 20, 1993 edition of The Abilene Reporter News said it all, “Inferno Devours Cult.”

When Yisrayl becomes agitated about anything, he becomes extremely short tempered and violent. He screams at those close to him, and hurts everyone’s feelings without a second thought. I was glad that I was not around Yisrayl Hawkins when the Branch Davidians and their buildings went up in fire.

It was at 5:05 pm on Tuesday, May 18, 1993 that the phone rang. When I answered, it was “her,” crying. I sensed immediately that she and Yisrayl were fighting about something. Whimpering, she said, “Kay, I know you don’t know it but I’m Yisrayl’s wife.”