The Road to Madison Avenue

General Foods and Jerry Lewis

General Foods’ President Ross Barzley came to us for a special workshop. He was going to Las Vegas to present a one million dollar check to Jerry Lewis for his Muscular Dystrophy Telethon. His PR people’s main concern was what Jerry might do in their brief encounter – hug him, kiss him, make some crack about a General Foods product. One thing certain – Ross did not want to be embarrassed.

Ruth and I reviewed several previous telethons at Muscular Dystrophy headquarters, not far from our offices in New York. We wanted to see how Jerry interfaced with corporate executives.

The General Foods PR people told us what kind of coffee Ross preferred, his favorite Danish, which we supplied. When the entourage arrived, Ross, all business, brushed aside both the coffee and Danish, and took his seat. It was obvious he was a no nonsense guy who was anxious to get started.

I opened the half-day workshop by saying, “Now, Ross, if I say something that goes against corporate policy, just kick me in the shins.”

He laughed and said, “If it goes against corporate policy, Hal, we’ll change the policy. Now, let’s got going.” Ross and I hit it off from the outset. Love that kind of attitude.

We roll-played different approaches Lewis might take and questions he might ask. Ross was a quick learner. His appearance would include a thirty-second video that explained how the one million dollars was raised through a complex sales campaign.

I asked Ross if he would mind devoting the last half-hour of the workshop to rehearsing what was on the videotape. Admittedly, I said, it was a one-in-a-million possibility something might go wrong, but …? He agreed, and by the time we finished he had the story down pat.

I watched the show at home. Lewis called for Ross’ videotape. Nothing happened. He called for it again. Nothing. Lewis said, “We seem to have a technical problem, Ross. Could you explain what was on the tape?”

Ross, his head filling the screen, beamed confidently. He explained the contest flawlessly. He answered Jerry’s questions as smoothly as glass. Guess who were instant heroes back at General Foods headquarters?

The next year Ross was about to leave for Las Vegas to give Jerry Lewis another check for the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon. We were called to a meeting at General Foods headquarters in White Plains, New York. No purpose given, but it would not be another workshop.

The company headquarters was called the Taj Mahal, and with good reason. The porte-cochere at the entrance must be forty feet high, supported by columns about three feet in diameter, There is space under the porte-cochere for a dozen vehicles to park. We walked into this enormous board room. Two gentlemen in expensive suits were sitting at one end of the table. They introduced themselves as General Foods executive vice presidents.

Ross strode into the room at exactly the appointed hour. He took a seat facing Ruth and me. “I’m going to Las Vegas tomorrow to give Jerry a check for five hundred thousand dollars. I want to know whether I should say it’s for five hundred thousand or for half-a-million.”

I was shocked. I could have given him the answer over the telephone and saved our time and General Foods’ money. He turned first to his two executives and asked for their opinion. I smelled a set up. They both waffled and copped out by offering, “Whatever you’re more comfortable with, Ross.”

Ross turned to me. “What do you think, Hal?”

“Ross, viewers don’t listen that closely. They will only remember thousand or million.”

He beamed, slapped his hand on the table, and said, “That’s it, then, half-a-million,” rose and marched out of the room. If looks could have killed, I would have been dead on the spot. We made a quick exit with the General Foods executives shooting visual darts at us.