Consider It Pure Joy

Preface In a small Texas town on a cold Friday evening in late December, my groom and I sang to each other: Not what I wish to be, Nor where I wish to go, For who am I that I should choose my way The Lord shall choose for me, ‘Tis better far, I know. So, let Him bid me go, or stay. My thoughts at that blissful moment were that this marriage would be a lifetime of serving God together until death do us part. However, on a warm September Sunday afternoon, almost 25 years later, that song took on a new meaning. You see, I was served with divorce papers. My husband, who had been an ordained minister for many years, had left me two and a half years earlier. Why would this happen to me when I was diligently trying to serve God? I may never fully understand, but I do know that James1:2 tells us to “Consider it pure joy . . . when you face trials of many kinds.” The verse of the wedding song, Submission, that my groom and I sang to each other said: The path that I have trod, Has brought me nearer God, Though oft it led thro’ sorrow’s gates. Though not the way I choose, In my way I might lose The joy that yet for me awaits. I would not have chosen the path of divorce, but I would not take anything for what the Lord has taught me. On the practical side, I learned how to take care of my car, the yard, and a backyard swimming pool as well as repair rental property when the renters trashed it out and didn’t tell me they were leaving. After a hailstorm, I even learned how to select the best bid for roof repairs. On the spiritual side, I learned, in greater depth, how to truly recognize, listen, and obey God’s voice. God spoke to me through His Word, songs, and many dreams. When God would wake me during the night, I learned to write down what He was saying to me. In the first dream that God gave me during this phase of my life, He told me to safeguard the resources. That dream, along with His Word and constantly seeking His wisdom, carried me through the three-year period of separation, which finally ended in divorce. Prior to the divorce trial, God impressed on me how to safeguard the resources. Paul tells us in Hebrews 11:1 “. . . faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” When God speaks, refuse to doubt what He has said. By faith, I knew that the judge’s ruling would concur with what God had dropped into my heart. Up to this time in my life, my faith had never been tested to this extent.   Introduction Divorce is one of the most painful experiences I have ever had. The divorce decree brought death to the marriage but no closure to the heart. The former way of life was over. The hurt went deep with doubts that the heart would ever heal. When divorce shattered my dreams and tore our family apart, I had a choice. I could either become bitter or better. I chose the latter, and that has made all the difference. Since that eventful day, many hurting people have come my way. Aching and alone, they are grieving over some type of loss: divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a job, abandonment, abuse, loss of health, loss of finances. The list seems endless. Through some of the things I experienced and learned, God has given me a greater empathy to minister to others. As I walked through many different stages during the three-year separation and then the divorce, I experienced a variety of feelings all the way from denial to acceptance. I had to give myself time to heal. I had to accept a new identity in society. Instead of being swallowed in a sea of self-pity, I chose to mourn positively which allowed me to feel the loss and sorrow and yet still remember the good times of our marriage. Sure, I hurt and experienced an empty space in my life, but divorce, or any other type of loss, cannot kill that inner joy that comes from God. Regardless of your loss, Consider It Pure Joy brings you hope. Some of you may have already experienced a similar loss. Others may be experiencing it now. Still others may experience it in the future. Or perhaps you know someone who is, or will, go through similar circumstances. May God use these thoughts to help you in your loss and perhaps help you to assist others in their journey.