Journey

Tomas longed for freedom – for a place where he no longer had to be mindful of who he talked to, or where he met people, or what he said aloud. He felt deep in his soul that America would offer him that peace. He couldn’t wait to get home to continue reading his book “An Ethnic at Large - A Memoir of America in the Thirties and Forties.” It had opened his eyes to another way of life, and once tasted, he couldn’t drink enough of it. Dusk was descending, and the streets were getting dark. There was a tinge of yellow haze in the air from the glow of the old iron street lamps. Tomas picked up his pace while walking up the narrow sidewalk. On both sides of the street, looming over the sidewalk, were old homes with tall and narrow doorways. They were the type that prostitutes would inhabit, trying to seduce passersby into their dens of iniquity. Tomas couldn’t help but think how easy it would be for someone to open a door and snatch him up, never to be heard from again. Just as Tomas got to the end of the row of homes, an arm suddenly reached out and yanked him into a dark narrow walk way. “Shhhhh,” hissed a voice. “Don’t say a word.” Blood rushed to Tomas’ head, adrenaline pumped through his veins, his blood pressure peaked. “Tomas, it’s me…Guillermo” said the voice from the dark. Startled and confused, Tomas answered, “Guillermo? “Your Uncle!” Tomas’ heart was pounding, his thoughts colliding. He hadn’t seen his uncle for over a year. Guillermo had disappeared amidst a swirl of rumors that caused the family, in particular Tomas’ proud father, no end of heartache. Tomas remembered the yelling matches and arguing that went on between his father and Uncle prior to his Uncle’s disappearance. And how the Police came afterwards looking for him and spread lies that Guillermo was part of a militant group that killed innocent people. They said he was a terrorist trying to disrupt the direction of the country. But Tomas knew in his gut this was untrue. Guillermo and Tomas shared a brotherly bond – not just that of an Uncle and Nephew. They were only a few years apart in age, had been inseparable as children and shared many adventures and dreams. Tomas knew that Guillermo would never have abandoned him and the family unless his life was threatened. “What the hell?” Tomas gasped as he embraced his uncle. His heart was still racing. “I’m sorry. I’ve been waiting over an hour for you to come by. I wanted to say goodbye.” “Where are you going?’ “I can’t tell you.” “You’re leaving the islands, aren’t you?” Yes, that’s all I’m going to tell you. It’s better if you don’t know where. If the Civil Guard thought for a second that you knew of my whereabouts, they’d beat you until you told them. This way you don’t have to lie.” “Take me with you.” “I can’t.” “Why not?” “It’s too dangerous.” “I don’t care.” Guillermo’s face softened. He loved Tomas. He felt they truly were brothers and his decision to leave without him made his heart ache, but taking him wasn’t possible. The risk was too great and he knew that his brother Blas would never forgive him. Guillermo had done enough; his family had endured too much already without him tearing it apart even further. He put his hand on Tomas’ shoulder. “You need to stay with your family… you need to finish school. You know your papa would never survive if you left.” “Papa won’t miss me. You don’t understand, we haven’t been getting along…” The rest of the sentence was left to hang in the space between them, as if to convince Guillermo that Tomas was free to go with him. Guillermo stood his ground, knowing he was doing the right thing. “Tomas, I must go - but here, take this letter. Read it when you’re alone. And never, ever tell your father that I came. He must never know. It’s not safe, for any of you.” “When will I see you again?” “I don’t know. But don’t worry, I’ll always be with you.” And with that Guillermo thrust a crumpled piece of paper into Tomas’ hand and held him in his arms. “I love you.” He let him go, and then trotted off into the night, leaving behind his stunned Nephew. As he walked home, Tomas wiped the tears from his eyes. Tomas was better off than most families at that time. He grew up in a large traditional, one story Spanish home. It had a long dirt driveway that led to a big garage in the back, where his father would park his two large public buses. He would drive one and rent the other one out. This turned out to be very profitable. Not too many people could even afford a car at that time. It had only been five years since the country was torn apart by the bloody civil war. The walkway leading to the front door was covered in grape vines that crawled up wooden trestles on either side with wire over the top. Tomas opened the door and looked around to see if anyone was home. “Mama!” No one answered. He went straight to his bedroom, which was small, but it had everything a teenage boy could want or need. There was a single bed against one wall, and a set of dresser drawers with a globe sitting on top of it against the other, and next to that on the floor was a soccer ball. Tomas had found the globe in an old bookstore he visited whenever he went into town. He was fascinated by it, and finally one day had saved enough money to buy it. He plopped himself down on the bed and reached into his pocket to get the letter his uncle had given him. My Dear Nephew, I didn’t want to leave without explaining to you what happened between your papa and I. And I’m hoping that this letter will help you understand why you and I are so close. You couldn’t have been any more than five years old when your papa and I were a part of a movement that was exciting and liberating. Women had a right to vote, workers were gaining ground, and the church didn’t run our schools. You may or may not remember the meetings we would have in your garage, the gatherings of people, who believed in a democratic Spain. You would always sit next to me, holding my hand. I knew then that you and I had a special bond. It was 1936, when everything changed. General Franco organized an uprising against the Republic - the country was split, between people like us who believed in individual rights, and freedom, and wanted a government elected by its people, and the Nationalist People believed that a government should be run by a dictator, based on fascist ideas and the denial of individual rights and freedom. After a year of civil war, and countless deaths, I came to your papa and told him that I was getting a group of men together to help save Madrid from being taken over by Franco. I naturally thought that he would join us. It didn’t dawn on me that he wouldn’t go. Not only did we lose the battle for Madrid, but I lost a brother. And I want you to know, that whether you follow in his footsteps or mine, our bond will always be there. Love Uncle Guillermo Tomas sat lost in thought, staring at the letter. Suddenly; he jumped from his bed, startled by someone pounding on the front door of his home. He shoved the letter under his mattress and stood – hoping whoever it was, would go away. He was afraid if it was El Paseo. Tomas often heard stories of the El Paseo: the Civilian Guards who knocked on doors of suspects; people they thought were rebellious against the regime of General Franco. The Civilian Guards would politely invite a person to go for a walk, and there was no way they could refuse. But they knew deep down they wouldn’t be returning home, or be able to see their loved ones ever again.