THE HOBDAY CONNECTION

1. “You are nothing but a little bastard, and you will always be a failure.” Those words had echoed through my head since I was about three years old! Father would say them over & over, never giving a word of encouragement or an even a complement. Then when mother would get into one of her depression or moods and he wasn’t around, she would pull out a faded little photo and say in a hushed voice, “If he hadn’t been killed in the war he would be your daddy.” 2. One man was definitely the exception! He would always take the time to chat with us while traveling from his ranch near Tucson back to California or another destination. The actor John Wayne, trying to avoid attention, would walk into the airport terminal wearing dirty Levis, soiled shirts & muddy boots that quite often had dried horseshit on them. 3. There was still that empty feeling inside, because the “family” just didn’t want me around despite my attempts to improve myself. Father had said that there was no room in the family cemetery because I was a ‘bastard’ 4. The Veteran’s Administration Doctor had given a diagnosis of a terminal condition with maybe six months to live. When he said to quickly put my personal affairs in order, I thought all hope was lost!...You find yourself contemplating your life, pondering the ‘what ifs’ and wondering what you could have done differently. 5. Inspecting the pictures once more, that feeling came over me again. It was as if I had seen the young man before, but stronger. Could I have possibly known him when I was a small child? Strangely, the pictures gave off a warm, comfortable, and safe feeling. Why was mother saving these pictures, keeping them separate from her other snapshots? Why were they so important to her? Who was this young man? What was her connection to him? 6. A name that had haunted me throughout my life! The same name was on the back of the Air Force photo as a ‘Tail Gunner’. How had mother managed to keep this envelope and its contents hidden? Images and voices from my childhood long forgotten, suddenly burst into shape and crystal clarity! My heart was pounding as mother’s voice ricocheted in the hallway. She was coming back inside the house! 7. When Joan became a Nun, she “buried” mentally & spiritually, all of her past, her family, everything! As a result, receiving all of the various communications and requests from the Air Force in addition to being in contact with former friends from Cortez, and an “old lonely Veteran” like myself eventually became too much for her to handle. It finally became clear that at Sister Jose’s age, with her training and background, she was either unable or unwilling to deal with all of these “buried” memories. 8. She was sitting on the porch steps. Her bright auburn hair, hanging down below her shoulders, shimmering in the sunlight. Jimmie’s friends constantly kidded him a lot because he looked so young and was bashful towards the girls at school. It is just the way he was on some things! Jimmie couldn’t resist the temptation to stare a bit, she was pretty, and she noticed him looking too. “Hi, my friends call me Mott, would you like something cool to drink?” Jimmie went up the narrow cement sidewalk towards the front door where she was standing, holding the screen door open. Knowing he would be late for dinner… 9. Once we even saw the top of a mushroom cloud from the atomic explosions on the other side of the mountains at the Nevada Atomic Test Center. It caused a cloud of radioactive fallout to drop onto the airport as I was in the yard playing. Mother saw the strange cloud when she stepped out of our little trailer… 10. He just looked at that baby and broke out in a big smile. “That’s my son?” She said, “Yes, I named him Dane.” I’ll let you visit, but you can’t let John find out because he said he would beat me if he finds out we were seeing each other again.” Carefully opening the gate and stepping soundlessly over to the sleeping baby, Jimmie knelt down. As he stood up the tears in his eyes contrasted sharply with the big smile on his face. 11. Battery B slowly moved their 105MMs and equipment down the mountain towards the little village of Hagaru-ri; it was a windy and cold morning. PFC Spruell’s feet were numb, possibly early frostbite. All the members of his squad had the same problem. Some of the men began to complain that their fingers were numb too. There was nothing more Spruell could do to help his men fight the cold! The Battalion's backup supply of clothing was already depleted or destroyed. There was no more clothing or blankets to help fight the cold. There was no way to send any of the soldiers back down the mountain. 12. As the survivors and wounded straggled into the little base controlled by the Marine Detachment, an attempt was made to airlift out the wounded with small planes using the airfields at Yonpo and Hagaru-ri. Without a solid line of defense, the Chinese & Korean forces could easily overrun the entire area…Someone had to take leadership responsibility! 13. Abby said, “You look worried, like something has been on your mind all day.” Jimmie took another deep breath, putting his arm around her shoulder and said “Abby I need you to understand something. I don’t know what the future holds, with this war and everything going on.” 14. Then the letter came! It was a cool November morning, Mott had just voted for Eisenhower that week…The envelope was from the Department of The Air Force, addressed to Mott. Fortunately, John was still at work. With trembling hands, she sat Dane down on the couch beside her, telling him to be still while she opened the letter. The first words she read were “We regret to inform you” and she started crying. 15. As the B-29 touched down on the runway, Jimmie saw the smoking shell of a bomber that had recently crashed on landing rushing past his plane. He cinched his harness tighter and tried to think of the breakfast he would have very shortly. Sometimes that was the best part of a mission! 16. Tonight was the night they targeted the fourth largest power plant & dam in the world at Suiho, near the Manchurian border. It was going to be a rough mission because of all the radar-controlled searchlights recently installed around the dam. The power plant was also close to an airfield staffed with Russian MiG-15 fighters…A well-trained Russian Artillery Regiment operated both the searchlights and the gun emplacements. Jimmie had a real bad feeling about the mission. 17. Assigned to a non-existent position at the Mannheim Regional Personnel Center while I infiltrated a local Neo Nazi organization was possibly the most difficult task of my life. I kept that assignment a secret for over thirty years for fear of retribution from the Germans involved in the organization…I had no real family, no one to be concerned about me so being a professional soldier was easy. 18. Sister Jose must realize who I am! Her training as a Nun and devotion to her Church was possibly so deep that it was preventing her from accepting, or even recognizing my existence! Her lack of action made it appear as though Sister Jose was hiding behind the cloak of the Convent & the Church rather than accepting or dealing with the truth! 19. Unexpectedly, I had the feeling of embarrassment and apprehension, as if I was an intruder on a very private moment. Carefully turning in my seat and looking around at the audience as the Chaplain was speaking I felt rather insignificant.