Silk Rose

Deep underground underneath the Hindukush mountains of Afghanistan was one of the Al-Qaeda bases that was still in operation. Some call them caves but the Al-Qaeda Jihad rebels called it Kudesh which was their code word for refuge base. These scoundrels consisted of about 40 men who were very loyal to their leaders Osama bin Laden and Mustafa Hasbaland. They worked tirelessly under their rule and would stop at nothing to see that their orders were carried out. Yesterday a group of American soldiers had raided their village near their base of Kudesh where their families lived. Some of their wives were brought into American arms and taken for interrogations. The Jihad rebels were extremely angry at this and were planning a mission to capture their wives back from the Americans. This was just what the Americans wanted and as they planned the rebels found ways to subterfuge their attack by using American Army uniforms. While putting on these uniforms deep underground the rebels found some American magazines to know what they should look like. Their leader Tapesh called out to TiHusha in his distinct Middle Eastern accent, “Ti, did you know that Brittney Spears boobs are silicone?” “That is incredible they look so real in all of her concerts, they bounce when she jumps and they jiggle when she moves, I would have never known.” “I am very wise I know these things.” Tapesh combed his beard and acted as if he exuded intelligence. “And how do you know these things?” TiHusha held out his arms in questioning. “Star magazine had a whole article about her implants.” Tapesh's index finger shot into the air. “So you steal you're wife's magazines and know these things. Is there anything that you don't steal?” Tihusha shrugged and reached for a magazine. “Yes there is.” Tapesh's eyebrow raised and looked like a loading ramp that they got nuclear weapons from being a unibrow and all. “And what might that be?” Tihusha now had a Star magazing in his hands and shot his eyes toward Tapesha just above the top of the magazine. “Kisses.” Tpaesh delicately said as his eyelashes fluttered. “Really?” Rolling his eyes Tihusha's lips went back and his nostrils flared. “Don't go Saturday Night Live on me now.” Tapesh threw down a magazine and acted disgusted. “Really?” There, he did it again. “You're doing it, keep it up and I have a toilet ring with your name on it. You know that show is not nearly as funny as Mad TV.” Tapesh points directly at the Tihusha, who is sitting in a cheap chair under a light bulb, then points away. “You know that guy in *%$# My Dad Says is on Mad TV?” Tihusha sits up in the wooden chair then places the magazine on the rickety table next to him. “Yes he is very humorous. You know you would be great on TV or on stage.” Tapesh's eyes were searching for the word. “The last time that I was on stage it changed my life forever.” “What happened?” “I was in Tiajuana on a vacation and I got asked to hold a plastic bag for a horse on stage. It changed my life forever.” “Now that is humorous.” “The word is funny knucklehead.” Tihusha leans over to tie his boots. “Don't go PTI on me here Mike Wilbon.” Tapesh stands with a fist and some spit shot out of his mouth as he was saying PTI and it landed in Tihusha's eye. Wiping the launched saliva out of his eye Tihusha says, “What? It is a very funny term, the knucklehead that you are.” “You want some T & A?” “From you? I think I'll pass.” “On a turkey and alvacado sandwich?” “Oh for a minute there I thought you'd be asking me for some bologna and jam.” Tapesh squinted his eyes and began to walk in a circle in his new American uniform, “You know how I get kisses without stealing them?” “Let me guess...It involves guns. Am I right?” “What? Now you are the knucklehead Tony Kornheiser. No, actually I said to her the other day, 'Honey you put the rump in scrumptious.' And boom she was kissing all over me.” “Oh yeah, well I got one for you, you are such a great military leader and all. You put the sass in assassin.” “What? There is no sass in my assassinating I am all man.” Tapesh stomps his boots in the dirt. “Well then tell me this Mr. all man. Who tucks in their shirt under their panties. Your granny panties are showing evil dictator.” Tapesh pulls his underwear up with the label out, “These are Hanes for men not Hanes her way. That is what my wife wears.” With a stern lip TiHusha said, “Whatever, you still put the sass in assassin.” Tapesh snaps his fingers like an African American sista and moves his arms all about. “Enough! There is no sass in anything I do.”