MY SOUL CRIED OUT...BUT I COULD NOT WEEP
by
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Pages 225 - 226
I remembered how I met my husband and felt that it was right to fall in love, that it was right to get married, to move beyond my past, how he could protect me. Then I remembered the beatings that followed that dream, in the home; on the street; off the bus when he followed it and pulled me off. I remembered how I was always on the run with my children, until it brought me to the place where I was, thousands of miles across the ocean in a little basement in Toronto feeling like a complete failure while the people that mean the most to me were left with a complete stranger to practically fend for themselves.
Whatever caused the preceding thoughts to re-surface and flood my mind so much I may never know, one thing I do know is that, it was in that place of deep despair and financial ruin that I began to feel like a 16-year-old-tape rewound and was slowly replaying everything that had gone on in my short life. The deeper into thought I went the gloomier it got, the more I found things that had been suppressed, things that were never dealt with. It was hell all around falling on me like a ton of bricks. I was buried in depression for a very long time. There was just too much that hadn’t been dealt with. Now, the financial loss, plus being away from my children simply magnified everything. It was as though there was a massive collision of past and present that went beyond what I was capable of handling.
It was hard finding the strength to get up when life had knocked me down so many times. Without my children and my mother I most probably would have lost the will to keep fighting. It was for them that I found the strength to go on. I crumbled to my knees but I didn’t have the luxury of staying there. Though my soul was crying out for help, I had to suppress it because my children still needed to eat and the people I entrusted with their care still needed to be paid.
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About the Book
A small town country girl from humble beginnings with a passion for music and church is trapped for decades with a traumatic secret that changed the direction of her life. This playful happy-go-lucky little girl who once indulged in solving arithmetic that went far beyond her tender age; and running home from school to get to the Wednesday night Prayer Meetings, now gives a refreshingly tasteful view of life at home with her mother and siblings - rich in love though shadowed with poverty. The extent she went to spare her mother from more heartache when she faced her worst nightmare, is a testament to her resounding strength to protect her mother at all cost; but it wasn’t enough to shield her from the effects of what her silence would cost her in the years ahead. At times it’s like a story out of a fiction movie, unfortunately, it’s not. It is the story of a real person - a mother who is forced to share her story so her children can finally know the truth.
Tumultuous, yet inspiring, every ounce of this soul was put to the test but her faith withstood them all. The courage to always get up and keep going despite obstacles, and the determination to survive not so much for herself, but for her children and her mother; makes this a book for every mother, daughter, and sister. It can only be concurred that the loving bond Elisabeth had with her Mom, and the love she got in return, along with everything she learned in Church and Sunday school, shaped and moulded this precious soul for the unimaginable road she would walk ALONE.
And now, twenty-five years after her daughter said to her: “Mom, of all the books you have read, there's a book that has not been written, and that's your book.” Elisabeth finally speaks.
About the Author
Elisabeth is a naturalized Canadian Citizen who emigrated from Jamaica to Canada in the late seventies. She is a mother of three children and twelve grand children. Her family is her life. If you are travelling on a bus or train, or even walking along the street and you hear someone humming a song, chances are it is Elisabeth Holyday. She loves singing, loves to listen to Gospel Music, and anytime of the day or night you can hear Gospel music reverberating throughout her home. Her taste in music is not limited to Gospel, but she’s passionate about Gospel music. From Cassette Tapes to VHS, LP’s, CD”s. and DVD’s Elisabeth hoards them all. The same applies to her faith. She could watch Mass five times per day on Television, light candles from sundown on Fridays to sundown on Saturdays, reverence the Sabbath on Saturdays, attend Mass on Sundays , watch all the Television Evangelists on Sundays, and still be faithful to her Pentecostal upbringing, while her home looks like a Catholic Shrine.
Though not an expert on Social Media, now that Elisabeth has written a book, when she is not fiddling with the organ, or reading a book, she is either on Twitter or Facebook, or, she is sharing her publishing journey in a blog. Even though she has told her story and is much more at peace with herself now, Elisabeth is aware of how much she has missed out on life because of her silence, and is intent on savouring every minute of every hour however simple it may be. A lover of nature, lots of sunshine, blue skies and the arts, Elisabeth anxiously looks forward to the days when she will be able to spend more time with relatives left behind in Jamaica who she couldn’t sponsor to Canada; more time with classmates from whom she felt like she was torn due to her misfortunes; and most of all, spend more time where she was born, where precious memories with her darling mother are still very vivid. Their bond was so infectiously close, 16 years after her Mom passed away Elisabeth still feels she has an obligation to do for future generation what her Mom could not afford to do. Christ-like by nature, Elisabeth is ready to move beyond her past and into the future. Sharing her story has liberated her.