The Boy Who Loved Simone Simon
A Collection of Serio-Comic Phantasies
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
David promised himself he would stay in the job no longer than three years. Six years down the line, as inexplicable as it was, he was still telling himself that . . .
He could take no more. He felt like a prisoner in his own workplace – even more so than anyone else. He went to see his boss. He was desperate.
On entering his office, the boss looked up from the Western novel he was secretly writing on his computer. It was his dream to revive the Western novel.
“Hi, David; and what can I do for you? Pay rise?”
“No, sir.”
“Oh.”
“It’s about the photocopier.”
“Oh!”
“I think it’s in love with me.”
The boss removed his glasses, and rubbed the nose on which they once sat. He leaned closer. “David, we hoped this wouldn’t happen again.”
“You mean this happened before?”
“The boy we had before you. He had to quit in the end.”
“What happened?”
“The photocopier fell in love with him. It began to make strange noises, refused to copy anything for anyone other than him, that sort of thing.”
“That sounds about right.”
“I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do. It’s just one of those things we have to live with.”
“But I can’t take it anymore. Can’t we trade it in for a newer model?” “A younger girl, eh?” “What?” “Sorry. I’m afraid we can’t. We still have a year left, at least, on the lease of this thing. As you know, company funds being what they are . . .” David knew what he was saying and got up to leave, wishing he’d said yes to the question of a pay rise. As he reached the door, his boss called after him. “Oh, David. Just one more thing.” He rolled a pork pie across the desk. David watched it with sad eyes as it rolled off the edge and landed with a dull thud against the carpet, scattering a few crumbs as it fell. “Oh well, suit yourself,” the boss shrugged, and got back to his Western novel.
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
Welcome to the wild, weird and wonderful world of Stephen Mosley. You'll witness Pyjama Boy's last trance; a love triangle takes place between a young man, a dead movie star, and a photocopier; and love itself rears its head in the shape of a loathsome goblin. Women mutate into giant fish, and their boyfriends have bigger problems. And that's not all! Share the plight of young men who idolise Lon Chaney to painful extremes. Meet the murderous Dentist (his soul is full of midnight)! Feel sweet pangs of unrequited desire in a California dreamworld; thrill to the sounds of the Drew Barrymore Experience. Here, the work of the vampires is never done, and there's always spam fritters for tea.
About the Author
A lifelong lover of movies and monsters, Stephen Mosley played the monster in the movie KENNETH. He's also the crazed Alcoholics Anonymous Leader in ELEVATOR GODS. Onstage he's portrayed dysfunctional fathers, moonstruck lovers and psychopaths. He sings with a band called Collinson Twin and lives in a dungeon near Leeds.