Marriage is a topic that brings so many questions to mind. Why do some marriages last while others don’t? What can a couple do to keep the marriage bond alive and well? Are any two people unavoidably meant for each other? Is marriage between two individuals a divine will or something imposed by humans? What constitutes a good marriage? Should I or should I not marry someone I’m in love with? Will marriage lead me to hell, heaven, or somewhere in-between? After seeing what married couples go through, should I bother getting married in the first place? Is marriage as beautiful, or as awful as some parents and other married couples make it seem? Does good marriage come from destiny, good luck, or hard work? What if I end up marrying the wrong person? When is someone ready for marriage? Which is better; marriage with all the marital responsibilities, or single life (or even co-habitation) with greater freedom? How does one make the ‘right’ choice and avoid getting entrapped into a miserable relationship? What makes one fall in love at first sight when someone else drags both feet until the ground gives in from below? Why do some people regard marriage as a lifetime commitment while others view it as a pastime and a casual experiment? Can someone find love one day and hatred the next day? Do some individuals make marriages work better than others? What brings success to a particular marriage and failure to others? At what age and stage in life is someone mature and competent enough to make a marriage commitment? Who is better at making a marriage work, man or woman? What role does an offspring play in the strengthening, weakening or destruction of a marriage? What roles do such variables as poverty, wealth, education, Illiteracy, religion, culture, social status, politics, infertility, and race play in the success or failure of a marriage? The questions go on and on.
Getting married is like walking into a future that’s full of unknowns and unpredictable variables. Who knows what the future will bring? We can’t judge the success or failure of a future marriage by other people’s marital behavior, experience and outcome. That our parents or married neighbors hated or loved each is not a guarantee that we, too, shall follow in their footsteps.
Marriage is like a journey up the hill by two consenting partners. To make that journey, you must first choose a partner. Who your partner is and how you make that choice will greatly determine the success or failure of that journey up the hill.
You are like an individual on a stage in front of an excited crowd of loyal fans. Each fan wants to shake your hand. You are eager to oblige them. But, there is one problem. You are allowed to shake only one hand. And, once you shake that hand, it becomes a permanent part of you. Whose hand should you shake? How do you decide the hand that is most appropriate and suitable for you?
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a crystal ball that could reveal the future outcome of a marital relationship? Such a crystal ball would minimize or even eliminate heart-breaks and agonizing disappointments endured by lots of married people all over the world.
Well, there is no such crystal ball. Yet, there are certain steps which, if taken, can lead one in the right direction for a marital relationship that is viable, happy, and long-lasting.