Hi, Can We Be Friends?
A new attitude for the common friendship journey
by
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Hi, my name is Paul. Can we be friends?
Life plays out in common places - classrooms, cyber cafes, bus stops, taxis, churches, restaurants, shopping complexes, or recreational centers. These are all possible meeting places where we interact with people. As we interact with one another, our many actions and reactions, varying likes and dislikes, unique passions and attitudes begin to form a complex variable in life’s answer to a common everyday question, “Can I be friends with Paul?”
How have you handled this kind of question in the past? What was the basis for your reply? What did you see, hear or perceive that influenced a positive but probably a cautious response? On the other hand, what information, attributes or concerns were the foundation for a blunt negative answer?
Perhaps, you don’t even have friends at all. You are a lone ranger or very selective in your choice. I have seen ladies who have lots of male friends and no female friend. Are they weird? I have also seen ladies with a phobia for male friends. They treat all male interests as “He is probably just looking for sex – Please, stay away!” This is common especially if they have had a history of painful relationships. Therefore, you can appreciate their pre-conceived answer to Paul’s question.
Friendship is a catalyst for destiny fulfillment. We cannot deceive ourselves that we are Islands. The heights of accomplishments are often achieved in a team effort rather than a solo drive. The “Adam is not to be alone” is not just a church marriage slogan; rather it is applicable for business, sports, academics, expeditions etc. It forms the basis of companionship and the reason for relationships.
But, in a complex world as ours, filled with different folks, varying moral convictions and loaded with a combination of frightening deceit, genuine sincerity and multifaceted motives; how do I know if Paul’s request needs an affirmation or a decline?
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About the Book
“Hi, can we be friends?” How have you handled this common question so far? Friendship is a journey. Strangers of yesterday can become best of friends tomorrow. However, after these strangers become casual friends, they may migrate into closer friendships. This journey for some cumulates into cordial business relationships, others into bubbling love and romance, but sadly, most of them end up in shock and regret. “I didn't know that she was that kind of person,” the guys would often say. “He was only looking for sex,” the ladies would often conclude. How do we choose friends, especially those of the opposite sex? How can we maintain godly relationships, avoid heart breaks and handle platonic friendships? Many promising relationships are destroyed for lack of intelligent foresight, misplaced ideology about male/female sexuality, and abuse of human intimacy. Hi, Can we be friends? peels out layer by layer the complex process of defining the reason why a particular guy or girl comes into your life. It empowers you to harvest the potentials of relationships while putting your excesses in check. This book provides practical answers to a growing nagging nightmare of how to stand for purity amidst a sex-hyped generation. It's practical, friendly and dynamic approach makes it a must-read for all.
About the Author
Tekena Ikoko has been talking with youths for many years about a subject they both share an interest in: relationships. A satellite communications engineer and CEO of Kusano Kummunication Limited, he is the General Coordinator of `Single But Not Stupid' and `Married But Not Miserable' Campaigns which help create awareness, facilitate dialogue and promote wellness in interpersonal relationships. Tekena is married to Tonye Ikoko and they are blessed with a lovely daughter Samuella.