Brutal Honesty
by
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Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws. Douglas Adams Chapter 4 : Message from a doctor: It's best that I see the scans, can e-mail the relevant pics ie contrasted MRI scans to me at least. To answer questions directly, in order that you asked them Brain tumours are graded 1 to 4, where grade 1 and 2 are benign, and 3 and 4 are malignant or cancerous. We now know your tumour is grade 2 or 3. The life expectancy of grade 1 is 10 years with treatment ie surgery radiotherapy etc, and grade 4 is 1 year . But due to the size of your tumour you probably have 6 months. How do you die you ask? A coma which is not painful. It is best to go for biopsy, surgery, radiation and chemo. Best is to see a good Neurosurgeon, and plan further treatment, but little point in doing nothing and waiting for the inevitable. Sorry, you did want brutal honesty. Chapter 2 : I don’t fear dying, what I do fear is how I die, and when. Being at a funeral and watching a spouse or children being left behind, is heart breaking. I had gone to the gynecologist and was told I had a brain tumour. Fortunately he didn’t have to do an internal diagnosis to find that out! I had decided to go to my gynecologist after I had tried to make a toast out of boiling water, raw egg, chocolate (but of course) and dry bread. Now before you think I am a nut case, let me explain. I was having very strange symptoms. During my pregnancy I would get these weird dizzy spells, a feeling of hunger and have di
was telling me to eat but because I was so light headed I couldn’t think clearly. So o
went to the doctor and ranted (as we should) about that fact that I was still going through these “normal” pregnancy symptoms. Well, after a routine “womanly” check up I ended up with a brain tumour. It wasn’t expected to say the least. Before the doctor sent me o
“Well we will soon find out” After an hours wait, I went into the MRI waiting rooms. “Please take o
“There is a locker around the corner” I striped down to a horrible hospital issue ‘outfit’ luckily there wasn’t an open back. I had just seen a butt shot from an old man and was feeling slightly queasy. I have quite skinny, white ankles and was very aware that I hadn’t shaved my legs. I held up my breasts as I walked. Having had three children I need support. “Please lie down on this bed. We will put a headgear on you. Don’t worry we can see and hear you if you need assistance. The machine will make a bit of a noise” They put a miniature, token blanket over me that left my toes uncovered. They pushed the bed into position. The MRI machine started. Bloody hell, a little noisy!! It made a jet sound like a whisper. To add fuel to the situation, the noise kept stopping then changing. Every time the sound changed, I got a fright. I felt cold, really cold. At least it kept my breasts perky. Unfortunately it also meant that the unshaven hairs on my legs stood up about a meter high. It stopped. I felt myself being dragged out. “Mrs Kohler, just stay still, we are going to give you a small injection. It will just be a quick prick. It is a contrast that we are injecting and will have no side e
where you are, it’s not much longer to go” “Do you have another blanket?” The blanket made little di
doesn’t sound good. ‘Don’t worry about it’ I told myself. Finally when it was over (and quiet) I was told to get dressed and go back to the waiting room. “Do you want to wait for the results or should we send them to your doctor?” “How long will it take?” “One to two hours” “I’ll wait” I was far too curious not to. Somehow as I wondered around the hospital, getting a cup of co
was wrong. I had known for a while. “We have your results” “Thank you, I will take it to the doctor” I didn’t take them straight away. I sat on a bench outside the rooms. I opened the envelope frantically and tried to understand the medical jargon. A few words I could figure out, but most were beyond my understanding. When I saw the scans, I saw a large white mass in the bottom right of the picture. (I later found out that the image is mirrored and so the tumour is on the left) My heart was racing. I went upstairs, back to my gynecologist and showed him. “This is serious. I am going to refer you to a neurosurgeon” I took my scans and walked down the stairs. I started laughing in shock and disbelief. I have had this problem all my life, when I get emotional, I don’t react by crying but rather I laugh. I got into trouble a lot from this little a
same bench and phoned James. “Hi babe, are you busy?” “Hi, no” “I have had very interesting news, it doesn’t seem good. I am coming to your o
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About the Book
‘...I do struggle to think that James will be with someone else (even though he says he won’t /cant) Realistically he would be young and would need someone. It is my belief that we have soulmates in life and at some point we are together again. I feel like this would be challenged if life is shared with another (stupid I know) I am also scared that there is nothing after death (which I don’t believe but its hard not to think about it)...’ Deirdre Kohler ‘...several times during Sandy's last year of life she told me, "I want you to love again. Being with someone else will not take away from what we had... Promise me you'll love again." So I lied to her and said I would. And as time goes on, I know for certain that once you've found your soulmate, that's it. The thought of someone "replacing" her never enters my head or my heart. So I apologize to her for saying I would love again... So revel in this moment and don't be scared that there is nothing after this. Because I'm certain there's more than "this life"...’ Dan O’ Deirdre Kohler has taken her shock of finding out she had a brain tumour at 31 years and turned it into a journey of healing, laughter, tears and hope. She gives an inspirational yet realistic and honest view of living with a brain tumour. She expresses the difference hope, prayer and God given faith makes in life and healing. The book is a blend of journal writings, private emails, medical information and personal input.
About the Author
Deirdre lives in Port Elizabeth, South Africa where she was born. She studied IT and
opened her own web design business at the age of 23 after the birth of her 2nd child.
She eventually left and was contracted as a specialist consultant.
She is now happily married to the love of her life, James Kohler. James is a talented
architect and has encouraged Deirdre in her art, coffee shop and writing endeavors. He
has been a support to her as a trained medic. They have 3 children, Anastasia, Adam and
Leo.
During the treatments, Deirdre started a blog. Here she detailed what she was going
through from surgery to chemo and radiation. She has now converted this to a book.
After the diagnosis of the brain tumour, Deirdre decided to travel to 6 countries and
started painting for the first time. She had her first and successful exhibition 6 weeks
after her surgery. Her paintings are abstract and very large. The largest to date is 2.5m x
1.8m
She has been featured in newspapers, lifestyle magazine and on radio. She speaks to
church and social groups on request.
Deirdre and James, with the help of her parents Alan and Lynn Page, built a coffee shop
out in the country which they now own and run. She aims to provide “meals that heal” -
good old fashioned delicious food!
It is though love, faith, prayers and the advancement of medical treatments that Deirdre
believes she is alive today.