Puerto Rican Goldilocks

Bendiciones / Blessings

As I grow older I remember the little things, the nuances, the traces of words, not the big stuff that is supposed to mark the memory like some sort of relief map.  I remember the messages carried by the movement of a hand, the voices of elders who always seem to know better, the feel of satin ridges on tattered blankets.  Those moments that I wanted to rush through as a kid are now the ones that I cling to, the ones that sustain me.

That is the way it is for me with bendiciones - those countless, love coated Spanish blessings offered to me by my mother, my tías, and my madrinas - offered with or without being requested.  As a kid running off to school or play or wherever, Mami would say, almost sing "Que Dio' me la bendiga y me la favorezca" (May God bless and favor you), words that blended into one sound, a ritualistic melody she sang so that her children would always be protected, be held safe in the hands of God.  I remember my impatience with her long goodbyes and set of instructions, remember fastening my jacket, or fidgeting with my overstuffed book bag, while she did her "blessing thing", while I anxiously awaited at the apartment door she held open with her callused foot, wishing I could fast forward.  In standard child time, her bendiciones were commercials before the show, were something to get through so that the fun stuff could begin.  Mami had gone through several decades raising eight children, and sometimes forgot where she put things for safekeeping, but she never, ever forgot her bendiciones.

Today, far from Mami, far from propped, project building doors, far from the urgency of childhood, I was offered a bendición, "Que Dio' te guarde mi'ja”.  I was offered the blessing of God.  And somewhere in that voice, in that beautifully accented voice, I felt sun-dust trickle down upon me.  I was carried by that lyrical christening thousands of miles back home, and with a will beyond my own, I sang to our womanhood, canté “y que Dios siempre la guarde a usted” – “may God always protect you.”