Mad Days in April

Across the road, I could see that a large group of people had started to congregate by the post office to find out what had happened. With the whole place now crawling with ‘Old Bill’ I decided to pop over and find out what had actually happened. As I mingled amongst them, I could hear snippets as they gossiped. Then a terrified post office worker was led out of the building by a Policeman and kept repeating that he had no choice but to hand over the money as he had a gun being pointed to his head and that the robber had got away with around fifty thousand pounds. However much I wanted to stay, my bladder had other ideas, so I made a quick dart for the toilets. Jogging through the electronic doors, I saw the sign indicating they were on the first level. Dodging and swerving in and out of the last few shoppers in my way, I raced over to the escalator whilst brushing off the light drizzle that had settled on my jacket while I was outside. To my relief, I could see the toilets straight ahead, so with one last spurt I steamed through the door and just made it in the nick of time. As I stood there in front of the urinals, I let out a huge sigh of relief and started to relax. Looking around I had to admit that I was surprised how clean these toilets actually were considering it was for public use. With the toilets appearing to be empty I walked over to the wash basin, looked in the mirror and was relieved to see my complexion was a little rosier than this morning. ‘That’s better.’ I said softly before breaking out into a quiet whistle without any real tune as I turned on the tap and let the cool water hit the palms of my hands, before gently throwing it onto my face which seemed to ease the throbbing of my head; repeating this cupping motion, I splashed my face again, as I thought how horrendous this morning had been and it was still only half eleven. Just as I was about to grab a paper towel, I heard a clunk behind me. Turning I noticed that the first cubicle was occupied, thinking no more of it I turned back and looked in the mirror, while my eyes seemed to get drawn to the reflection of the toilet door in question which was occupied then just as I was about to leave, I caught a glimpse of the occupant’s feet between the cubicle door and the tiled floor. There was no mistaking whose Nikes those belonged to. Dumbstruck, I stood there contemplating what to do next, then as if on auto pilot, I turned pulled another paper towel from the dispenser to dry my hands while keeping my eyes firmly glued on the cubicle. I had every intention of high tailing it out of there as soon as possible, especially as I knew he wouldn’t have taken kindly to my presence right now. Throwing the paper towel into the waste bin I started to walk past the cubicles towards the exit, just as I was getting level to the occupied toilet, I heard the latch being released and the door started to open. With a wild mix of emotions racing through my body and the thought that he could possibly cut me off from the exit, I instinctively charged at the door, bursting straight through and knocking him back onto the toilet. It was all or nothing now, so I threw myself in there and tried to land as many punches as I could in quick succession. I must have taken him by complete surprise, as he lay there crumpled over the toilet with a small cut to the side of his head, where he had fallen back and hit the wall. I stood over him with my fists raised as I waited in case he jumped back up again like in some horror film, but he was out cold. It was definitely the same guy alright and there underneath him was a black bag. I reached down, wrenched it free and pulled it out into the open. Clumsily my hands fiddled with the zip before I finally managed to open it and realized that all my suspicions were spot on, as there lying out in front of me was bundles of bank notes carefully packed; fifties, twenties and tens. ‘Jesus’ this could turn me into a real hero I thought to myself. Throwing the bag over my shoulder I got the hell out of there and melted in with the shoppers outside. I certainly didn’t want to be anywhere near when that guy wakes up and realizes his loot has disappeared. The best option I thought would be to get back to the police at the crime scene, but they were a good two hundred yards away. Anxiously I looked for anyone else that might be able help, but with no security guards in sight, I had to keep moving so I slipped onto the escalator and headed to the ground floor. This gave me a superb vantage point, then ‘Jackpot’. I spotted two security guards outside Burger King chatting to a couple of girls. With an immense sigh of relief, I barged my way through as the people in front moaned about my rudeness. Before I started jogging towards the two guards I could see they were probably in their thirties and no wonder why they were so pre-occupied, as the two girls were both stunners. Then - like a sledgehammer - it just dawned on me. I had fifty grand on my back! No witnesses almost the perfect scam.