Toasted Snow
by
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La Performance
Over the winter Noizzie and Tantan taught each other many things. Noizzie taught him a little juggling. Not just juggling, but also how to relax in order to allow the thrown ball to land neatly on the open hand, and to enjoy the space that juggling created in his mind. It was almost like a Zen exercise designed to allow a greater spontaneity and confidence in himself. The crucial factor was showing him the secret of the lost throw, which she did after a number of fumbling attempts that increasingly frustrated Tantan. She had never known anyone to pick up the use of the lost throw as they learned to juggle by themselves, but this was a technique passed down through the ages - although of course someone, somewhere had discovered that trick in the past, probably by accident.
If you are juggling with three balls then you are not balanced, as you will have two balls in one hand, and one in the other. As you begin to juggle, you will invariably start by throwing one of the balls from the hand with two balls before you throw the ball from the other hand, to free that hand to catch the ball first thrown into the air. You can juggle like this but if you wish to hone your skills it is better to begin to juggle with the hand holding only one ball….but not to release the ball with this initial throw, but to do so on the second throw, when the other hand has sent one of its two balls into the air. Tantan indeed found this to be a more natural way to move into a relaxed juggling stance and his prowess began to improve, so much so that it was not long before Noizzie managed to coax him one bright Sunday morning to do a little performance in the Place des Vosges.
Tantan did it shyly, with too much giggling and not a few errors attended only by some passing tourists. They merely saw someone going through his routine just like many other people who exercised in the open parklands across the world with dance, tai chi, or frisbee. This was indeed more of a personal trial in public than a public performance. He did enjoy it, though they both knew he would never make a living from it.
Tantan felt that what he had most given to Noizzie was that it was okay to stay in the one place and get well below its surface, rather than to give in to the constant urge to move on - which was odd from one who was a nomad at heart, but it takes a nomad to really know the importance of place.
Just after this, his first and only public performance Tantan picked up a postcard in a café. Many of the bars and cafes had a rack of free postcards for anyone to use. They were used by advertisers big and small, and by the authorities to get across their messages on health and other matters. Current films and festivals were also often featured on these cards and it was one for the annual film festival at La Rochelle that attracted his attention. It depicted a magician juggling his three heads.
At first Tantan could not work out why of all the postcards over the years this was the first he had really picked up and looked at - and one which he felt had a force pulling him towards it. When he showed it to Noizzie and told her that he found this deeply upsetting but did not know why she tried to offer explanations, one after the other, but all were simple and did not resonate with the level of anxiety that Tantan was feeling. “You have recently learnt to juggle. You had a public performance last week. This is a public festival. Is it not just a linking of all of this by accident, on this card - just like a dream connects everything up into a story?”
But no, none of this rang true for Tantan. It was not even the portrayal of the magician, one of whom had so disappointed him as a child - with the revelation about Adam and Eve - and then it struck him.
It was the juggled heads, and the way that they changed, and spun around in the air. Such change had to be disorientating, but it also offered an opportunity to be able to see the world in many different and unusual perspectives. This was something that he approved of and could see benefit in - so no problem there. It was not even that the magician had three heads, for after the performance no doubt he would place one of the three back on his body. The three heads looked fairly identical, but surely could not be, and depending on which one he chose would offer a slightly different perspective on the world. It was this that upset him. How can you be sure that you are the same person if you offered different faces to the world - and how, and when, would you be sure that you are in fact the real you, and not one of the alternatives that was available to you. Who was he? - Tantan? Alain? - or someone else, as he had changed, and accepted different names at different times in his life, unlike almost everyone else, who usually keep their one name throughout their lives.
If he couldn't sure who he is, then how could Noizzie or anyone else be sure of who he is or could be?
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About the Book
According to Orhan Pamuk there is a saying in Turkey that the child who cannot stop crying needs some toasted snow to soothe their distress. This is one of a number of proverbs across cultures that recognise our need, our desire and our ongoing search for that which is well nigh impossible to achieve. This book follows a number of different protagonists who knowingly, or not, are engaged on such journeys and how they connect, disconnect and re-connect, or not, as they stumble to or from the explosive beginning in a Paris restaurant in the 1980s. The main story concerns the journeys of Tantan and Noizzie as they explore whether they are right for each other, as well as the friendships of Jay, Bo, Bruce and Jean from their different worlds of music, travel and art. Their lives are partly intertwined with that of two academics Marie Therese and Angelique, as well as the typically Parisians Emilie and her mother Cecille. Tantan's father, Daniel, appears to be invisible to all but it is he who is instrumental to the unfolding drama - drawn, as is Pierre, one of Tantan's fellow waiters in a Paris café, to Draa, a dry river bed of a man, who has escaped to France. The experience of the characters in trying to comprehend what is important in learning how to live, to love, to understand and to die combines with the instances when inconsequential happenings change destinies. The Marais, the oldest part of Paris, with its potent mix of immigrant cultures over the centuries, features strongly and hidden gems, in and under its streets are exposed in the book.
About the Author
John Boswell is essentially a searcher. He has changed direction, very successfully, over the years working in pharmacology and biochemistry, becoming a psychologist and then building up through community development and health education to work at the top level of public health in Scotland. In addition he has worked with, and continues to do so, with a number of charities, and social enterprises across the United Kingdom. He has wide interests in both the arts and sciences and is particularly attracted to the merging of these approaches in the understanding and uses of complexity theory in helping us to live, work and play in our universe. Language is a constant source of amusement to him in the ways that it often disrupts, rather than enhances, communication and he has used his understanding of these areas in `Toasted Snow' to explore the human experience from a number of perspectives, with humour and imagination. He is married to Alison and they have two teenage children, Marc and Louise.