Pressing On…

INTRODUCTION † In the process of writing this book I have been asked, “Why do you want to reach the sex offenders of this country?” I see sin as sin regardless of its level of impact on society. It is clear that sins have different consequences, but over-all sin deserves death. “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 6:23). It is that gift in Jesus Christ that I wish to share with everyone that reads this book. “And He is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world” (I John 2:2). I sincerely believe that through the awesome grace of God in Jesus Christ that lives can be forever changed. I have experienced the grace of God. I know how it can impact you. When the taste of God’s forgiveness and liberating grace has been experienced, that person is changed for life. Ch. 1 † HEARTACHE AND CONFUSION I was a registered sex offender who had also been offended. I have experienced the deep heartache and confusion of being sexually molested as a child. I experienced the heartache and anguish of knowing I repeated the cycle. That grief was very overwhelming to me. I truly hated myself. I had to deal with the guilt and shame of turning from a victim to a victimizer. I had to experience the burden of seeking forgiveness than receiving it only to lose everything anyway. I lost my family, my job, my car, my Christian testimony and the different ministries I served within the church. All of this was lost due to my being overtaken by sin. Ch. 2 † CLEAN UP YOUR LIFE My first mistake was waiting for my sinful actions to be exposed before seeking help. God’s Word promises that a Christians sins will be exposed. “But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the Lord: and be sure your sin will find you out” (Numbers 32:23). Yes, my sins were exposed and only then did I begin to get the help I had needed for years. Although I was finally getting help, I was not spared from the consequences of my actions. I found myself lying on my back inside the Vanderburgh County Jail. My sin brought forth a year sentence in jail, which brought great hardship to my family, church and friends. I felt like crawling in a hole and never coming out. The humiliation of my falling into this sin was much greater than it would have been to seek help when it began. To those reading this, I pray you will heed to the lessons I have learned so your journey in this life will not be hindered. Ch. 3 † STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM Then one night while sitting in my apartment all alone, I was really troubled by the Holy Spirit. I knew I had to do something to get out of the situation I was in. So, I randomly opened the Bible to Proverbs and read, “The fear of the Lord prolongeth days: but the years of the wicked shall be shortened” (Proverbs 10:27). I fell to my knees asking the Lord to help me get out of the situation I was in. It has been so easy to blame my sins on the people who hurt me as a child. I knew that everything I had done and have been doing was generated from my own wicked heart. I needed to repent and make things right again with the Lord, so that is exactly what I sought out to do. Ch. 4 † A FRACTURED FAMILY The consequence of such an event on a family has long lasting effects many of which were experienced by my family. My wicked heart brought on much anguish to my family. This anguish was handled directly by my wife, Donna; therefore, I thought it would be best for her to tell you her side of the story. I hope that hearing how such an act affects families will play a part in stopping this from destroying other families. Ch. 5 † THE GLASS CEILING The glass ceiling is a barrier that prevents individuals from rising to positions of responsibility and economic security. It is most commonly used to explain discrimination issues in the work place. The effects of “The Glass Ceiling” are applicable to what I have experienced upon my release from incarceration. It is important to realize the consequences of having a felony hanging over your head. Having a felony, regardless of its title, creates a glass ceiling over your head that will prevent you from finding employment, or moving up at the place of employment that you may have found. Having the black ball of being registered as a sex offender only thickens that glass, making it impossible to break. Companies today are service oriented. This makes the need for them to update hiring practices a must to meet the concerns of society. This clearly affects the decision process when considering hiring a registered sex offender. Ch. 6 † LIVING IN A GLASS HOUSE This chapter is critical to understanding the full extent of living life as a registered sex offender. There is a price to pay to society that all registered sex offenders will have to face their entire lives. That debt is brought on by the severed trust created by the criminal actions of the sex offender. Therefore, it is reasonable to expect every sex offender that is released back into society to register with their local law enforcement agency. In the following paragraphs, I’ve utilized the information provided to me by the Vanderburgh County Sheriff’s Department during the time of my registration on the Indiana Sex Offender Registry. It is easy to understand why I compared being a registered sex offender to living in a glass house. Ch. 7 † BUTTERFLY EFFECT I added the totals of offenders from each individual state, there are 558,629 people registered as sex offenders nationally. That means, with our current national population as of April 1st, 2010 estimated at 308,745,538, about 1 out of every 552 people is listed on a sex offender’s registry in this country. (http://2010.census.gov/2010census/data/apportionment-data.php) 4 This should illustrate that the choices made to continue in sexual sins has affected many people. Ch. 8 † LIVING IN GRACE Living in grace is being sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. This is when you know that your heart is wickedly deceitful, and no man can know Christ without the Holy Spirit. Living in grace knows that everything you have is from God and realizing the difference between a need and a want. It is living through the strength of the Holy Spirit and not on your own. You must come to the realization that your strength will not last in the time of need without Christ in your life. “That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man…” (Ephesians 3:16). Living in God’s grace changes you from within; it changes your character…“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law” (Galatians 5:22–23). Ch. 9 † BONDAGE TO FREEDOM During my journey through all this, I have learned that the bondage of compulsive or addictive behavior destroys lives. Allowing yourself to be controlled by the compulsive behavior of the flesh that comes with an addiction is no different than allowing an evil spirit to direct your life. It controls the way you feel each day and the way you treat others. It controls how you manage your finances, your time and how you make decisions throughout your life. These compulsions control everything about you. You’re happy when you are experiencing the high they give you and depressed when you are not. There is so much to get addicted to today such as: alcohol, marijuana, tobacco, prescription drugs, meth, heroin, pornography and etc. All of these substances will take complete control of you both physically and mentally. I have experienced the power of these compulsions. The stronger these urges are, the more in bondage you feel.