The Wishes of Jeremiah Perch

"Watching she is." His thoughts mimicking the voice of Star wars Yoda. " On you she is spying.

At that precise moment, a window to the top left of the house suddenly opened. The robust muscular figure of Mrs Sylvia Martha Perch appeared in all her glory. Her appearance was no less intimidating at a distance than it was at a distance. Some would describe her as Germanic; others as simply manic. Her hair, the colour of straw, was parted down the middle of her head. It hung limply just below her rather square jaw line. Her blue eyes were so intense, Jeremiah often thought she had the superhuman ability to stare straight through brick walls. At 41 years of age she was younger than her husband by two whole years. At 15 stone she was heavier than her husband by four whole stones

"Jeremiah!!" She screeched in her high falsetto voice. "Are you going to spend the rest of the day camped in that sodding greenhouse?"

Jerry stood up from the small stool on which he had been sitting and moved a few steps towards the house. "I was just thinking about coming in for lunch dear." He called back. He began the back to the house with the resignation of a man going to the gallows.

"Well it's about time too. I never know if you're dead or alive these days when you're holed up in that damned greenhouse!!" She screeched. "God knows what you get up to in there!"

"Planning your demise dear." He muttered to himself. "A slow and painful one at that!".............~~~~~~~