Facing the truth

Jenny was overwhelmed by it all, as she held Violet tears rolled down her face. She spoke out loud, "I can't do this, I can't." She pushed Violet back into Martin’s arms and turned around to run and glanced over her shoulder at her grandfather. He stood there, shoulders slumped, and his eyes filled with tears from all the sadness. She shook her head, turned around and looked straight ahead then started to run as fast as her legs would go. With her heart pounding due to running so fast, she almost fell down. Martin and the grandfather watched in horror. Martin held Violet close while yelling to her, "Jenny. Please don't go," but she continued running. Elliott put his hand on Martin's shoulders to stop him from going after Jenny. "She shouldn't be alone, we should all be together. We are family and need each other,” Martin whispered. They stood there watching as Jenny got further and further away until they could barely make her out. "Martin let’s go home. Everything will be okay. She needs time to think." Martin looked over at the grandfather. He looked pale and older than his age, more beyond his years. He looked frail and stood there shaking. With all that had happened, Martin being engaged in his own loss, didn't notice how this has affected Elliot. Martin put his arm on Elliott's shoulder, "I'm sorry Elliot," with a half-smile on his face, "let's go home. You need some rest." This has been a terrible day for you. Taking his arm off Elliott's shoulder, they turned around and walked up the beach to the parking lot. When they reached the car, Violet held her arms out to Elliott and cried for him to hold her. Martin looked into Violet’s eyes, “No, sweet little girl, grandfather is too tired to carry you. Daddy will hold you, my beautiful girl,” and he kissed her. Elliott was far too old to walk over the length of the bridge so, anytime Elliott wanted to go over the bridge, Martin would take him. Martin put Violet in the back seat, and handed her the favorite blanket. She put her thumb in her mouth and started sucking, as they drove away Violet said, “Mama.” They both looked straight ahead not saying a word. Just as they reached the middle of the bridge Elliott exhaled, "Please stop here." It was the spot where Abby had jumped off the bridge, ending her life. He slowly got out of the car; Martin and Violet watched him as he reached for the railing. In one terrible dark afternoon, he had aged 20 years, his face was pale, and his eyes were swollen from crying. He couldn't drive by the spot where his precious granddaughter had so sadly ended her life for whatever reason. Looking out over the bay is the place he loved for so many years, now made him sad. He closed his eyes and spoke, "My dear, dear child," he said in a whisper; he continued, "I miss you so. It only has been a few heartrending hours. We walked this bridge for so many years and now it saddens me. Abby you made my life so full, so many secrets were kept from you. I wanted to protect you, Madeline was my daughter, and she wasn't always so cold.” (He could feel his body start to shake, the past haunted him, whereas a bad taste had arrived in his mouth). His eyes welling up with tears, brought the feelings which were buried for a long time; now, Abby was gone, and she would never know the truth. It was too late. He should have told her. “I can't talk now," as he wiped his eyes and said, "I hate to leave, I feel like I'm leaving you here all alone my dear Abby." He took a deep breath as his eyes scanned the bay, then got back to the car. The only sound that could be heard on the ride back to the house was Violet sucking her thumb. Jenny ran as fast and as long as she could until she fell to the sand from exhaustion. Putting her head down in the sand, her body trembled and outwardly cries escaped every so often, it broke the silence of an utterly desolate beach. Dust was approaching. Not a soul except Jenny on the beach. It had been hours since Abby had died, and it was starting to sink into Jenny's thoughts. Her feelings and thoughts raged. (You can let them destroy you, and they don't even know they are doing it. However, you know deep down inside, word-by-word, and action-by-action. They invade your being and take away a person you are or would become.) Jenny sat up, and wiped her eyes, realizing her thoughts, she said out loud, "I won't allow these feelings to happen, no one should be given that power. Not even your own mother." She struggled to stand; her legs still weak from the shock of losing Abby, her body still shaking from running so fast and so long. Looking out over the ocean, while sniffing, she had to wipe her face of the tears running down her face. She spoke out loud to Abby, "I don't think I can do this, I don't want to." Her legs collapsed under her and she fell back onto the sand, her body wrenched with sadness. She whispered, "I feel so all alone, I am alone. My whole life I have been so happy, except for losing father, and Mama acting the strange way she did. I was so happy here in my special place." She sat up and wiped her eyes, saying to herself, (I've been such a fool, who am I really? A puppet that allowed her mother to pull the strings.) She closed her eyes, thinking (Maybe I'm dreaming and when I open my eyes, none of it will be true. If….