Coming Out Together
The Journey of a Gay Minister’s Wife Through Love, Divorce, and Remarriage
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We each remembered how he told me in exactly the same way. By means of a letter, Maurice recalled his “coming out” to me. Maurice told me that Ken, the psychologist, had told him that they could go no further with his therapy until he told his wife about his sexual preference. Later on, after Maurice had told me, and during a spiritual formation experience in which I was participating, people close to me were asked to write of “some touching event” we had shared. It was meaningful to me that Maurice took that particular time to write this letter: For me it will always be that excruciatingly painful day, when at the end of the road, I had no other choice but to “come out” to you. So often I recall that scene at the Bluefield House Den. I was sitting in a rocking chair and you were sitting in a chair near the garage door. Following the suicide attempt—overcome with tears, I finally blurted out the painful words—you came across the room and embraced me in your arms and we both cried together. It was both an emotionally and deeply spiritual experience of God’s love at work! Your forgiving, accepting, and supportive love will always be the most significant experience of both my life and my spiritual journey. I also remember in the Bluefield House Den that after he finally said those much feared words, I jumped out of my chair, ran to his chair, put my arms around him, and said "I know. God God told me." We cried together.
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About the Book
This is the story of a young woman (the author) who knew next to nothing about homosexuality, and a young minister (Maurice) who suppressed his homosexuality for 55 years. It is about their friendship, love, marriage, and eventual revelation of his homosexuality. It is told in chapters which answer questions that the author has been asked as she began to tell others about her life, marriage, divorce and re-marriage. The book is titled "Coming Out Together" because that is exactly what they did after Maurice revealed his homosexuality.They planned together how they would tell others and how they would prepare for their future lives. They even talked about how they would write this book together, but life intervened, and he finally said "You will have to write it." He died in 2009. So the author has written it, with the help of Maurice's partner Elliott, and Martha's second husband.Shields.
About the Author
The author is a journalism major who ofen said she would write a great novel...and, instead, has writen about her first marriage and her experiences in learning to know about and live with someone who was born homosexual and who was determined to live a "nomal life" and tell no one of his suppressed homosexuality. She has found her journalism major helpful as she has been the director or employee of health agencies at state, national and international levels. As General Director of Church Women United, she had many opportunities to travel and learn to know and work with women from a cross the United States and different countries. Martha has developed a growing interest in spiritual formation and has become a spiritual director and has led the Discipleship Team in her local church. Since marrying Shields in 1999, they have worked together in the ministries and mission of their church. Because of her experiences, she has become vitally interested in encouraging others to know about, accept, and relate to persons who are homosexual.