Surviving & Thriving Solo
Options When You Live Alone
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
INTRODUCTION
My mother always told me that marriage was stepping from the frying pan into the fire. She intended this advice as a warning. To me, her words were a promise of a relationship full of romance, excitement and warmth. During my twenties, thirties and forties, I was driven by the dream of finding my perfect soul mate. I saw myself sitting in a garden in front of a beautiful house, surrounded by a husband, children, a dog and a cat and living happily ever after. However, my chosen partners were unable or unwilling to commit to marital bliss. When I turned fifty, I was still living alone. Nevertheless, over the years, I discovered how to survive AND thrive.
I stayed at home in the safety of my family with two parents, two younger brothers and two felines until I was twenty-four years old. Then, I moved into a duplex with three women for a year before I tackled my first apartment. It was like sliding around on a floor coated with baby oil as I took tiny steps to care for my home. Gradually, I put on rubber boots, got out my mop and cleaned the floor of my life. I tackled basic areas like work, relationships and interests, clearing negative thoughts and behaviors.
I have digested the statistics of the latest census. About one quarter of adults in both the
On the one hand, I have experienced great angst. This was most marked when I was without a man in my younger years. After every relationship ended, intense anxiety overwhelmed me. Evenings after work, weekends and vacations also created stress in my life. I had to find answers to many questions. Could I afford to take the day off work to contact the government by telephone? What would I tackle first when I had the flu, the cat was howling, the car was in the garage and my veterinarian’s office was closed? What could I do when alone during a power blackout and the batteries of my flashlight were dead and I had no candles? Was it better to go to a dance or surf the Internet for my next date? What could I do when the saran wrap would not unwrap and I was out of tin foil?
On the other hand, I have known wondrous ecstasy while living alone. I felt powerful as I mastered basic chores. I filled my free time at home alone with creative activities such as painting and writing, meditation and self-love. I was blessed with a great career as a librarian and had access to zillions of self-help and humor books to lift my spirit. I linked with other people such as single, divorced and widowed women, in support groups and at other activities. I got a computer with Internet. If lonely at midnight, I was able to chat with friends around the world by e-mail. Adding the comfort of cats to my home created constant delight.
I began to focus upon how to add pleasure and fun to my life. Would I spend a whole weekend writing my book? Could I stay up all night watching Woody Allen movies in bed while eating pizza?
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
Surviving & Thriving Solo is a light-hearted look at living alone. It is intended for men and women of all ages who live on their own, whether single, separated, divorced or widowed, and those who help them to survive and thrive, such as friends, relatives and acquaintances. The book offers a wealth of suggestions for coping with the challenges like loneliness and chores plus tips for enjoying the opportunities to pursue creative hobbies and build rewarding relationships. Also included is an annotated reading list for further exploration of issues related to living alone.
The author shares many personal anecdotes. The text is easy and fun to read. The style is friendly and the tone is optimistic. There are checklists of choices—both realistic and whimsical, accompanied by humorous illustrations.
Surviving & Thriving Solo is guaranteed to inform, inspire and entertain you. Oscar Wilde expresses the essence of living alone successfully with his line: “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” The book celebrates this romance as the author emphasizes accepting and caring for yourself and everything in your life. You will feel empowered as you discover that you always have options to create a rich and satisfying life in all situations.
About the Author
Frances Frommer is a writer, an artist and a librarian, with an M.A. in psychology and a Master’s of Library Science. She has selected self-help, psychology, humor and art books in large urban public libraries for almost 30 years. For Surviving & Thriving Solo, the author draws on her professional expertise and personal experience of living alone for most of her adult life, taking courses such as “The Challenge of Being Single” and belonging to many support groups with people who live alone.
Frommer’s publications include the following: book reviews in Canadian Writer’s Journal and Canadian Collectibles, articles in magazines such as I Love Cats and Cat Talk, a humorous story in Cats, Cats, Cats and More Cats anthology in 2007, and a chapter from Surviving and Thriving Solo in Wordstruck, an anthology of work by members of “Jolly Lits,” her writing critique group. The author currently publishes book reviews for the newsletters of a Toastmasters Club, Hamilton Public Library and Personal-Development.com, an Internet self-help publication and contributes cartoons and articles to the newsletter of the Halton/Peel Pet Loss Support Group.
Frommer is a member of the Writers and Editors Network of Greater Toronto and her cartoons are featured in their brochure. As a member of Lakeview Toastmasters, she has her Competent Communicator Certificate, achieved after giving ten speeches and has completed the Advanced Humor Manual, which involved writing and giving speeches with funny stories and jokes. She won second prize at the Area Humorous Speech Contest on October 18, 2007.