The Karmic Car Cycles
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
The next morning I went to the insurance company to file the claim. ”Tough Luck”, said the clerk, “your insurance was cancelled just yesterday”. Notice that, ‘Just yesterday’. I was both flabbergasted and flabbergusted. Well, financially wiped out would be a much closer description. No car no flower route, no flower route no money. I insisted the clerk have the company dig out my file and go over it with a fine tooth comb.
Sure enough, because of standard customer leniency policies regards renewals, my actual drop dead cut off point wasn’t for another two days. I gladly paid the premium and they not so happily covered the accident.
You have to at least give whoever it is up there full credit for trying though. I also have to give myself both an “Innie” for ignoring to re-buy my insurance in proper time, and a great big “Outie” for almost buying the farm.
I figure whoever it is up there is also in cahoots with the cops. Some policemen seemed to have a special little gadget in their forehead, that whoever it is up there sets a ’buzzing to let the cops know when there’s felon on the loose nearby ripe for the picking.
I had received yet another moving vehicle violation. I was now over the points limit for the given time period so my license was automatically suspended for six months.
I went in to pay the fine at three in the afternoon. I paid the fine, handed the clerk my driver’s license. Who stamped ‘Suspended six months’ on the back with a great big fat sloppy red rubber stamp.
Now I was really in a dilemma. I had no cash in the bank. Flowers always gave me money in my pocket but never money in the bank. Likewise flower selling was my only source of income. Likewise, between my happy hour run and two full night runs, I was logging in over a hundred miles a day in the car.
So for me at the time, no driving meant about the same as a cot at the Sally Ann. So no driving for me was not an option and I continued driving to the best of my ability not to look guilty of something every time I saw a cop on the horizon.
You may remember that I had already used up my six months grace of driving without a license back in the mid sixties in the TR3. The Karmic Car Gods never forget.
At precisely nine o’clock that night, that very same night I had been coming back over the
Turned out one of my taillights was out. A missing taillight is one of those things you don’t know about until someone, i.e., a cop, gets there first and tells you about it, i.e., fix it or else. Same for front turn signal lights.
In this case the cop had gotten there first and now he wanted to see my drivers license with the big fat red sloppy ‘suspended six months’ stamp all over the back.
I’ve finally figured out why they make you look so glum on your driver’s license photo. If you get pulled over, you’ll be looking about as glum as it gets and they want to make sure it’s you. In this case there was no doubt about who I was. I knew I was toast and couldn’t have looked glummer.
He looked over my license from the front. Opened it and looked at the inside. Then he closed it again and read the front again from top to bottom. Then did the same thing again on the inside.
The poor guy’s antennae must have been crackling so loud it was like short wave radio from a
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
The universally themed book titled, ‘The Karmic Car Cycles’, is a hilarious romp of car related misadventures by the author/protagonist Cliff R. Livingstone. The book hits the ground running and is still running at the end.
Having led one of the wackiest, most unusual, and so far unlikely lives on the planet, the author romps through these awesome and oftentimes unbelievable Karmic Car adventures at the rate of about ten laughs a second.
The author proposes that his car misadventures occurred because he had a Karmic Car Cycle going on. He then builds the case though a series of hilarious ‘vignettes' that work in their right own over and above the narrative.
In writing it is hard to find an approach that stands out from the crowd. But this is what Livingstone has done with this distinctive work which lives up to its billing as a 'non-stop romp, morning, noon and night'. The writing style is uproariously funny, conversational, wry, even whimsical at times and is never less than totally entertaining. The book is anything but your standard bowl of cornflakes.
Writing is about addressing other people. Mr. Livingstone has accurately identified the things about his life's experiences which could be of interest to others. This gives the ‘Karmic Car Cycles’ a more universal appeal than an average straight forward narrative novel might offer.
The book also has a universal appeal which everyone can enjoy, in the sense that while located mainly in
Likewise, the author’s self-imposed criterion that all included material be entertaining and/or thought provoking for the benefit of others is a rule from which many writers could benefit.
About the Author
The question is often asked, "Who is Cliff R. Livingstone and why would anyone want to read about his amazing foibles at the hands of the Gods of Cars"? The answer is simple. You are not reading about the author. The Karmic Car Cycles is all about the message. Who the messenger is, is about the last thing in the world you should be worried about. Nevertheless, for those of you who can’t sleep without knowing, here it is.
The author was born in
After high school Livingstone worked three years installing telephone equipment in
During the mid sixties, he ran a mining company in
After the rock band he went through a twelve year cycle selling roses and carnations in bars and restaurants all across
In the early eighties he moved to
In the late nineteen nineties Livingstone started keeping notes, which finally came together as, ‘The Karmic Car Cycles’.